Episodes

The Newest Info on PTSD and Healing Trauma

The Newest Info on PTSD and Healing Trauma
Your Amazing Life
Your Amazing Life
The Newest Info on PTSD and Healing Trauma
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Welcome to “Your Amazing Life” and thanks for being here. We discuss tools and tricks to create an Amazing Life in this blog. There are a few powerful ways you can support us. It would help if you subscribe to us and leave a rating/ review, in it leave your top takeaways from what we talked about, and also interact with the community on the Facebook page. Next, be a hero to your friends and family and share it with them… Lastly, sponsor it. Your support makes a massive difference. Check out the show notes for links to the subjects we discuss and if you have any topics, you would like me to address just put it in the private Facebook group. I want to give a couple shout outs first to my follower Silvie and to my Washington tribe. I appreciate them, growing and sharing the podcast with their friends and family. Let’s get into Your Amazing Life.

The effects that Trauma has on you is very real. Sometimes we don’t even know that trauma has occurred. It could be that it has been blocked from memory. It could be that you just don’t understand or have recognized it. So, let’s answer the question: what is trauma? Trauma is an experience that leaves a lasting negative impact on your behaviors, relationships, thoughts, or feelings. They can come from a list that is still incomplete as there are still people around. Trauma can come from experiences, you might be experiencing them if you have had to deal with abuse, death, loss, or betrayal. Just as each of us can have something different cause the trauma but each person can experience it differently. It is not helpful to compare or contrast yourself with anyone around you. It is important for us to recognize what the triggers are. Then how you experience and respond to what has happened to you.  

In order to move past a trauma, you must first be out of the situation. You must be safe before any type of healing can happen. Safety means you have a place where you will not be re-traumatized. It also means that you will feel loved and accepted. A “Safe Place” is one free from bias, abuse of any kind, conflict, criticism, or potentially threatening actions, ideas, conversations or violence. You deserve to be safe. You deserve to be in a place that you feel no abuse or violence in. Do you have a safe place to go to leave behind the traumas that you have faced? Do you have a strong and compassionate person that can lead you safely through the experience, and remove the memories from every part of your body? 

Once you are in a safe spot you can then look at the nature and the extent of your trauma. The things you will want to go over with someone safe are the what, when, and how often for how long you experienced the trauma. This will give you an understanding of what it is and how it will affect you in your everyday life. Most people are able to move past levels of trauma similar to a video game. First you process the situation and healing happens.  Then you live without any effects for some time. Then at a later time they realize they see things differently and they again look at and process the traumatic experience much easier and with less time and emotion. Then it happens again they see it in a different light. It is not traumatic but they learn to heal in an even deeper way. This is not that we are dealing with it over and over, it is that we are learning more and more and moving through it at a deeper level.

So, there was a young girl. We will call her Linda. Linda had been sexually abused by a family member a couple times per month from the time she was 2 until the time she was 8 years old. It happened at hers and the other family members’ house. At which point her parents find out and they remove the family member from Linda’s life and make her home safe. Her parents believe her and get her help. The help uses great tools and Linda feels safe again and starts to do better and feel safer at school. So now her abuse is past and she has leveled up past it. But let’s look at Linda as she turns 15. Now her life changes and she wants to start dating. She wants to be attractive to boys. Here she might find some new triggers that were not there. It is not so much that she is still traumatized, it is that she is moving into a new experience and she needs tools to deal with the experience in this new environment. Now let’s say it is 10 years later and she wants to get married. That too might level up the trauma and she might need to address it again. Unless you deal with every body part and experience that the trauma is tied to you can have to deal with it more than once.

I have talked with you about the importance of nutrition in many of our episodes. I have found a clinically proven product that I drink one packet a day and it gives my body all the micronutrients I need. This is an all-natural product you will love. The packet is filled with superfoods and all their nutrients. Best of all it comes with a 100% Money back guarantee, so there is no risk. Many doctors are now recommending this. Start your day like I do with a packet of nutrition. You are going to want to try this. Goto https://kengerber.kyani.com/ Then if you would like to become a business partner contact me. Join me in having Kyani each day to improve your health!

We are looking at overcoming trauma and new info on PTSD. We started with how the effects of trauma are very real. Trauma comes from an experience that has a lasting negative reaction to our lives. The first step to overcoming the trauma is to get out of the situation, leave the relationship, tell the authorities. Get someplace safe. Once you are safe you can then with the help of me or someone else who is strong and compassionate; a person that can lead past the experience. I am happy to help you through this

Now there are medications that can help you suppress the emotions and trauma that you have experienced. Now if you choose to use these, I highly recommend counseling or coaching in addition. Otherwise, feelings buried alive never die. Because you have not released the trauma it will continue to traumatize you despite the medications. This is why people just using medications have to increase the dose over time to get the same help. Another reason they are not my first pick is medications suppress all emotions, both good ones and hurtful ones. This goes for self-medication also. Alcohol is a depressant. It slows down the body and brain. Even though it slows down your body and brain it can create more anxiety and stress. It can create a greater risk of responses such as anger, aggression or depression.

Another way to overcome PTSD is to get healthy. This means eating and drinking the correct things. It also means movement. I know I sound like a broken record, but movement, sleep, and healthy eating have a huge impact on most every part of your life. Reducing or removing caffeinated and sugary tasting drinks will make a difference that you will mostly likely not expect. Inflammatory foods contribute to feelings of anxiety and restlessness. Reducing sugar can help. Movement creates the right hormones and transmitters in your body to help you feel happier. Getting healthy will put you on the road to happiness.

There are alternatives to medications that can also be used. Medications have down sides and they cause side effects. Medications may cause vomiting, nausea, diarrhea, weight gain, drowsiness, sedation, constipation, and dry mouth. Now herbal treatments can reduce anxiety and depression and are less likely to have side effects. Feverfew and butterbur can be used to treat migraines associated with PTSD. Drinking the following teas may be able to contribute to reducing anxiety and stress: peppermint, turmeric, ginger, Ashwagandha, Kava Kava, Chamomile, passion flower, lemon balm, and rose tea. These natural options can be helpful with overcoming PTSD.

Working through the trauma is also a big help in overcoming PTSD. While working through the traumatic events you will want to work through them on a cellular level throughout your body. This will get rid of the memories. This will help you to overcome the hard-wired survival strategies based on flight, flight, freeze or please responses are hard to break away from. Without overcoming the trauma on a cellular level, you could still fall back into old mind-body- brain patterns.

If you are tired of suffering, beating up on yourself, reacting from PTSD, when you are dealing with past pains, and imagine that Your PTSD cannot be cured; If you want to struggle less and enjoy more. If you want a truly amazing life that is connected and complete, you need the “you have value program” If you are willing to make some changes, forgive yourself, and continue to try. I would love to help you to create who you are actually capable of becoming.  Contact me, ken@creatingyouramazing.life.

“Next time you’ll hear how porn can impact mental health…

I want each of you to know I appreciate each and every one of you. My friends, this podcast is about you. If something I said resonated with you, I would love to hear about it. By following me you get to hear about me, my dreams, my goals. You get to know me, hear what I’m thinking and learning about. Well, I want to hear from you. I want to know what is going on for you. The ways you can tell me about what you are learning about and going through are: #1 you can talk with me on the Facebook Group or #2 set up a time to talk with me so you can tell me about who you are and what you want. #3 Sponsor some of the episodes that have made the biggest difference for you. #4 If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to this podcast and leave a rating and review. I would love to discuss how you can use these tools and others to get your amazing life!

Signs that You are Burnt Out and 5 Things to do About it

Signs that You are Burnt Out and 5 Things to do About it
Your Amazing Life
Your Amazing Life
Signs that You are Burnt Out and 5 Things to do About it
/

Welcome to “Your Amazing Life” and thanks for being here. We discuss tools and tricks to create an Amazing Life in this blog. There are a few powerful ways you can support us. It would help if you subscribe to us and leave a rating/ review, in it leave your top takeaways from what we talked about, and also interact with the community on the Facebook page. Next, be a hero to your friends and family and share it with them… Lastly, sponsor it. Your support makes a massive difference. Check out the show notes for links to the subjects we discuss and if you have any topics, you would like me to address just put it in the private Facebook group. I want to give a couple shout outs first to weeklyhealthtrends for following me and to my Florida tribe which has grown this week. I appreciate them, growing and sharing the podcast with their friends and family. Let’s get into Your Amazing Life.

Burn out, I’m betting you know what it is.  I mean who hasn’t experienced more stress over the last year? Burnout is one of the psychological terms that is familiar to the public. Let’s look back in 2019. You spent 10 to 12 hours a day outside of your house. Your kids were gone each and every day for that same time period. Evenings and weekends you spent with friends and family members. You went to the gym, movie theaters and restaurants. You were busy but mostly happy. Then in March of 2020 everything changed. Maybe you started working or attending school remotely, or having your kids home schooled or just home more, maybe your income dropped or you lost a job. It could have been that you lost people, or just did not have the social network that we had before Covid. It may be that you have not seen one of your best friends for over 1 year. Maybe you are a healthcare worker and you have been working overtime, seeing more death and pain than you had in the past. You could be one of the 61% of adults or the 82% of Generation Z that said they needed more emotional support. WHO (World Health Organization) found in a research study that mental health matters including suicide are likely to become a bigger concern in the near future? They stated they will peak later and last longer than Covid. Burnout is now considered a medical diagnosis by the WHO. What you may not know is “burnout” is a new thing. The term was coined first in 1974 by Herbert Freudenberger in his book The High cost of Achievement. Yet, it is felt on every continent and in every climb. It does not discriminate by race or nationality. Despite being a new term there are so many people that understand it and feel its effects. How has burnout affected you?

Let’s talk about what Burnout is. Burnout is a reaction. That reaction comes from being in a prolonged or chronic state of stress. There are three main dimensions: Exhaustion, cynicism, and feelings of reduced professional ability. If you feel exhausted, hate your job, and begin to feel like you do not have the ability to perform it well. You are exhibiting signs of burnout. Burnout has to do mainly with your job. How many of your waking hours are spent working? If you are normal, at least 2/3rds of them. Work is not the only thing that causes burnout. Personality traits and thought patterns also contribute to the problem. That is why I talk about changing our stories. If we have patterns such as perfectionism and pessimism those stories can take a toll on your life. So, are you reacting to the stresses and problems in your life with the symptoms of burnout?

Let’s get into how burnout feels. You could be feeling frustrated with work, and unhappy about the people you work with and the conditions you work in. Maybe your performance is way down and you find hours going by with very little to show for it. You might have symptoms such as headaches, stomach aches or intestinal issues. Burnout can often cause people to feel drained, unable to cope and tired. How many of those are you feeling? Number one thing is for you to stay here on this earth. I want you here! If you are having suicidal thoughts contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 for support and assistance from a trained counselor. If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911. The number one thing is to stay safe. I care about each of you and want you here so we can be together tomorrow.

I have talked with you about the importance of nutrition in many of our episodes. I have found a clinically proven product that I drink one packet a day and it gives my body all the micronutrients I need. This is an all-natural product you will love. The packet is filled with superfoods and all their nutrients. Best of all it comes with a 100% Money back guarantee, so there is no risk. Many doctors are now recommending this. Start your day like I do with a packet of nutrition. You are going to want to try this. Goto https://kengerber.kyani.com/ Then if you would like to become a business partner contact me. Join me in having Kyani each day to improve your health!

Today we are talking about Burnout. We started with the life changes and lack of support many of you are experiencing. We talked about Burnout being a reaction to the things that are going on in our lives. Burnout is mostly centered around jobs, which is where we spend most of our day. Then we spoke about how we feel frustrated, unhappy, prone to headaches or stomach aches. I want you here on this earth if you are not wanting to be here, please reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

The way to conquer burnout is by building good habits into our lives. Habits that promote wellness and reduce stress.

  1. Structure: We need to implement structure into our home and work lives. Structure creates boundaries. Especially if you are working from home. If your life is similar to others your work probably bleeds over into your lunchtime and past the time when you would have left the office to go home. Maybe you feel guilty if you don’t respond to work emails in the evening and on the weekends. It is important that you have time set aside for different parts of your life and they do not get done at the same time. Our lives are like a jigsaw puzzle. Work is one puzzle, home is another. How effective would you be at either if you had them both out at the same time on the same table? Each of these need separate space and time. When you are ready to move from one to the other box the one you are working on up. You can keep the pieces you have put together. But close up the box, put it on the shelf in your mind and pull out the other one and concentrate only on the puzzle in front of you. 
  2. Take Breaks: You cannot always be on. When you are in the office you often take time at the water cooler or lunch room, maybe hanging out in someone else’s office which provides a break from the activity. You need the same thing at home. Work in 60-to-90-minute chunks. Put away the puzzle that you were working on and move on to the next one. 
  3. Connection: The thing most of us want to do when we are burnt out is to isolate but this is the one thing that makes it worse. We need to connect with others. If you are burnt out it is a horrible time to isolate. Human beings are social beings and we need that connection to feel healthy and happy. We are hardwired to be connected. For extra support contact me! I would love to talk with and find out more about you.
  4. Movement: Working out, walking, hiking, running if you prefer. It really doesn’t matter what the movement is and only slightly matters where it is. The big thing is to move. Whatever you want to do and wherever you do it. It is better that you do something than not doing anything.
  5. Control what you can: Remember you are the driver; you control how fast and where. You cannot control road closures, roadblocks, breakdowns and potholes. You cannot control all that happens to you. But as we said in episode number 213, there is no situation that you cannot exert some control over. Control what you think and feel. The biggest way to be a solution is to take control over your stories, thoughts, and labels.

Are you stuck on a treadmill? If you are tired of suffering, beating up on yourself, and doing it over and over again; Do you want to struggle less and enjoy more? If you want a truly amazing life that is connected and complete, you need the “you have value program” If you are willing to make some changes, be kind to yourself, or stop chasing comfort. I would love to help you to create who you are actually capable of becoming.  Contact me, ken@creatingyouramazing.life.

“Next time you’ll hear the newest info on PTSD and it’s treatment…

I want each of you to know I appreciate each and every one of you. My friends, this podcast is about you. If something I said resonated with you, I would love to hear about it. By following me you get to hear about me, my dreams, my goals. You get to know me, hear what I’m thinking and learning about. Well, I want to hear from you. I want to know what is going on for you. The ways you can tell me about what you are learning about and going through are: #1 you can talk with me on the Facebook Group or #2 set up a time to talk with me so you can tell me about who you are and what you want. #3 Sponsor some of the episodes that have made the biggest difference for you. #4 If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to this podcast and leave a rating and review. I would love to discuss how you can use these tools and others to get your amazing life!

Welcome to Thursdays Exchange with Johnnie Urban

Welcome to Thursdays Exchange with Johnnie Urban
Your Amazing Life
Your Amazing Life
Welcome to Thursdays Exchange with Johnnie Urban
/

Welcome to “Your Amazing Life” and thanks for being here. We discuss tools and tricks to create an Amazing Life in this blog. There are a few powerful ways you can support us. It would help if you subscribe to us and leave a rating/ review, in it leave your top takeaways from what we talked about, and also interact with the community on the Facebook page. Next, be a hero to your friends and family and share it with them… Lastly, sponsor it. Your support makes a massive difference. Check out the show notes for links to the subjects we discuss and if you have any topics, you would like me to address just put it in the private Facebook group. I want to give a shout out to my Washington Listeners. For sharing it with their friends and family. Let’s get into Your Amazing Life.

We have Johnnie Urban with Wonderful Life Learning Company and Sensitive Authentic Speaker. Johnnie helps people power their message, attract clients. She makes a difference by teaching people to convert easily and expand their business.   Welcome to Your amazing Life, Johnnie thanks for being here

Tell us who you were in the beginning and how you got to where you are now? A new highly certified Life Success Coach struggling to grow my business. I was told to network and tell everyone I knew that I could help them. It was exhausting going all over the place for my message to fall on deaf ears. I decided that I needed to learn some public speaking skills and messaging so I would be able to grow my coaching business easier. 

Going from speaking to one person at a time to many people at once was brilliant. Ten years ago, several coaches asked me to hold a class and teach them what I knew. I never thought I’d still be teaching it today. 

When did you realize you’d hit rock bottom? I’ve hit rock bottom several times in my life but the most profound one, to date, began in 2019. My spine had been twisting and sliding for many years and finally we said enough! I need fusion surgery asap. January 2019, I had my first successful surgery and as I was healing it was apparent that the vertebrae above it was too weak and I needed a second surgery. November 2019, I had the second one and it almost killed me. Blood clots and pulmonary embolism put me in ICU for 5 days. It’s taken me over a year to heal and build muscle back up. I realize that this whole time I’ve been extremely angry with my body for years.

What role did mental health play in your journey? It was very clear to me that I was experiencing PTSD symptoms even prior to me having the surgeries. I had major anxiety and depression. So many things in my life I had to stop doing because of the pain. But I was born stubborn, just ask my mom. Today I call that committed to be better.

We have talked about the things that you are struggling with in this podcast. I have talked with you about the importance of nutrition. I have found a clinically proven product that I drink one packet a day and it gives my body all the micro nutrients it needs. This is a natural product you will love. Best of all it comes with a 100% Money back guarantee, so there is no risk. Many doctors are now recommending this. Start your day like I do with a packet of nutrition. Goto https://kengerber.kyani.com/ Join me in having your packet each day to improve your health!

What was your top priority in beginning a change for the better? My top values are to help others. I can’t do that if I am lying in bed unable to move. Medication side effects made it worse. I knew that in order to get better I needed to detox and get moving. Build muscle back up and help myself so I could help others. Just a few months ago I was asking myself, “Is this my new normal?” Walking with a walker, needing a cane, not being too able to walk, sit, or stand more than 10 minutes.

And today I’m excited that I can do so much more now without any of those.

You had to remove people, things and habits from your everyday life, what were those and how did that help? I had to stop taking care of others and ask them to take care of me. I had to say NO a lot. My husband is amazing but he was not used to doing so much. Fortunately, the pandemic hit and life slowed down for everyone. All my Dr. appointments were over the phone. Food was delivered and expectations to work went away. All of that allowed me to not feel so guilty that I wasn’t doing my part.

What are your thoughts on social media and mental health? Social Media is like a double edge sword. Some good, some bad.

What was the most “uncomfortable” or difficult change you had to make? Accepting that my body is different now. It’s never going to go back to the way it was before. I was angry at everyone and anything. It was important that I must forgive my body for what I perceived was letting me down. When in reality it actually gave me a better life.

Do you have any skills or talents that most people don’t know about? I am an open book. Yet recently I realized that I love treasure hunting, always have. I can see things other people miss. The one thing I don’t share much with people is that I can actually see and feel people and animal energy. I use this skill when I am working with people to be able to help them at a deeper level.

What’s a goal you have for yourself that you want to accomplish in the next year? Build my training business back up and become a certified Small Business Coach and Consultant. I will be hosting my second 5-Day Challenge on May 17th.

What does it take to have an amazing life? Mindset. Non-Negotiable sense of humor.

If you could only leave three statements for this world and your kids what three things would you leave? Stick with the mentors who bring out your greatness not your crazy! There is always a way!

Places to find you: LinkedIn: Johnnie Urban Mentor, FB/Instagram Johnnie Urban Mentor,

Johnnie, I want to recognize you for being authentic. You then show others how to be authentic and to bring out their best selves. We need that today.

“Next time you’ll hear about signs that you are Burnt out and 5 things to do about it…

I want each of you to know I appreciate each and every one of you. I’m grateful for your friendship. You mean a lot to me. I know you have overcome some really tough things to get here. Like I said at the beginning there are a few things you can do to help, YAL If this message has been helpful today, please share it with a friend or family member who may need to hear it. Or sponsor it. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to this blog and leave a rating and review. Also join the Facebook Group or if you need to get yourself aligned to get your goals and dreams, contact me. Let’s get you the amazing life you want! Set up a time to talk with me so we can discuss how you can use these tools and others to get your amazing life!

The Greatest of Moments are Often Small Ones

The Greatest of Moments are Often Small Ones
Your Amazing Life
Your Amazing Life
The Greatest of Moments are Often Small Ones
/

Welcome to “Your Amazing Life” and thanks for being here. We discuss tools and tricks to create an Amazing Life in this blog. There are a few powerful ways you can support us. It would help if you subscribe to us and leave a rating/ review, in it leave your top takeaways from what we talked about, and also interact with the community on the Facebook page. Next, be a hero to your friends and family and share it with them… Lastly, sponsor it. Your support makes a massive difference. Check out the show notes for links to the subjects we discuss and if you have any topics, you would like me to address just put it in the private Facebook group.  I want to give a couple shout outs first to my follower Samina and to my Virginia tribe. I appreciate them, growing and sharing the podcast with their friends and family. Let’s get into Your Amazing Life.

I want to start by telling a story. By Kent Nerburn

I was responding to a call from a small brick fourplex in a quiet part of town. I assumed I was being sent to pick up some partiers, or someone who had just had a fight with a lover, or someone going off to an early shift at some factory for the industrial part of town.

When I arrived at the address, the building was dark except for a single light in a ground-floor window. Under these circumstances, many drivers would just honk once or twice, wait a short minute, then drive away. Too many bad possibilities awaited a driver who went up to a darkened building at 2:30 in the morning.

But I had seen too many people trapped in a life of poverty who depended on the cab as their only means of transportation. Unless a situation had a real whiff of danger, I always went to the door to find the passenger. It might, I reasoned, be someone who needs my assistance. Would I not want a driver to do the same if my mother or father had called for a cab?

So, I walked to the door and knocked.

“Just a minute,” answered a frail and elderly voice. I could hear the sound of something being dragged across the floor. After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman somewhere in her 80s stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like you might see in a costume shop or a Goodwill store or in a 1940s movie. By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The sound had been her dragging it across the floor.

The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets. There were no clocks on the walls, no knick knacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.

“Would you carry my bag out to the car?” she said. “I’d like a few moments alone. Then, if you could come back and help me? I’m not very strong.”

I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman. She took my arm, and we walked slowly toward the curb. She kept thanking me for my kindness.

“It’s nothing,” I told her. “I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated.”

“Oh, you’re such a good boy,” she said. Her praise and appreciation were almost embarrassing.

When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, then asked, “Could you drive through downtown?”

“It’s not the shortest way,” I answered.

“Oh, I don’t mind,” she said. “I’m in no hurry. I’m on my way to a hospice.”

I looked in the rearview mirror. Her eyes were glistening. “I don’t have any family left,” she continued. “The doctor says I should go there. He says I don’t have very long.”

I quietly reached over and shut off the meter. “What route would you like me to go?” I asked.

For the next two hours we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator. We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they had first been married. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl. Sometimes she would have me slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.

We have talked about the things that you are struggling with in this podcast. I have talked with you about the importance of nutrition. I have found a clinically proven product that I drink one packet a day and it gives my body all the micro nutrients it needs. This is a natural product you will love. Best of all it comes with a 100% Money back guarantee, so there is no risk. Many doctors are now recommending this. Start your day like I do with a packet of nutrition. Goto https://kengerber.kyani.com/ Join me in having your packet each day to improve your health!

So today we are talking about How great moments are often hidden as small things. We are telling the story by Kent Nerburn about a cab ride. 

As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, “I’m tired. Let’s go now.”

We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico. Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. Without waiting for me, they opened the door and began assisting the woman. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her; perhaps she had phoned them right before we left.

I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase up to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.

“How much do I owe you?” she asked, reaching into her purse.

“Nothing,” I said.

“You have to make a living,” she answered.

“There are other passengers,” I responded.

Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly. “You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,” she said. “Thank you.”

There was nothing more to say. I squeezed her hand once, then walked out into the dim morning light. Behind me, I could hear the door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life.

I did not pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly, lost in thought. For the remainder of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away? What if I had been in a foul mood and had refused to engage the woman in conversation? How many other moments like that had I missed or failed to grasp?

We are so conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. But great moments often catch us unawares. When that woman hugged me and said that I had brought her a moment of joy, it was possible to believe that I had been placed on earth for the sole purpose of providing her with that last ride.

Now the thing about this story is all the little things he did that were out of the norm. Going up to the door at 2:30 AM, going back to help walk the lady out to the cab, driving around experiencing and celebrating the lady’s life. So the question I have is how do we make this experience one that we can expect to have? In my life I have had some similar experiences and each time they have started out with small things. Stopping and helping a homeless person, or smiling and asking someone how they are holding up. Sometimes the experience takes a few minutes, sometimes it takes a couple hours. But each time the wonderful life changing experience was based on small steps that lead to another small step. We are often so busy looking for the large experiences that we miss the small ones that would make the difference.

If you want to experience changes in your life, if you are tired of suffering, if you don’t feel like yourself, if you want to feel happier; If you want to struggle less and enjoy more. If you want a truly amazing life that is connected and complete, you need the “you have value program” If you are willing to make some changes, be kind to yourself, or stop chasing comfort. I would love to help you to create who you are actually capable of becoming.  Contact me.

“Next time you’ll hear Thursdays Exchange with Johnnie Urban who talks about finding ways to overcome health issues …

I want each of you to know I appreciate each and every one of you. I’m grateful for your friendship. You mean a lot to me. I know you have overcome some really tough things to get here. Like I said at the beginning there are a few things you can do to help, YAL If this message has been helpful today, please share it with a friend or family member who may need to hear it. Or sponsor it. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to this blog and leave a rating and review. Also join the Facebook Group or if you need to get yourself aligned to get your goals and dreams, contact me. Let’s get you the amazing life you want! Set up a time to talk with me so we can discuss how you can use these tools and others to get your amazing life!

#1 Habit of the Most Successful

#1 Habit of the Most Successful
Your Amazing Life
Your Amazing Life
#1 Habit of the Most Successful
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Welcome to “Your Amazing Life” and thanks for being here. We discuss tools and tricks to create an Amazing Life in this blog. There are a few powerful ways you can support us. It would help if you subscribe to us and leave a rating/ review, in it leave your top takeaways from what we talked about, and also interact with the community on the Facebook page. Next, be a hero to your friends and family and share it with them… Lastly, sponsor it. Your support makes a massive difference. Check out the show notes for links to the subjects we discuss and if you have any topics, you would like me to address just put it in the private Facebook group. I want to give a couple shout outs first to a follower Judith and to my Indiana tribe. I appreciate them, growing and sharing the podcast with their friends and family. Let’s get into Your Amazing Life.

Our brain is set up with what is known as a Reticular Activating System. What the heck is that you are probably asking. Well, it is a network of neurons in your brain. Check out this info by Mel Robbins. The job of this system is to filter out experiences, sights and sounds. You see there is too much stimulus for us to take in with our conscious mind. So, this system runs in the subconscious.  Without this system we would not be here and we would not have survived as a species. We cannot make sense of this world with all of the stimuli out there if we don’t filter it down. We need the Reticular Activating System sort through the info and bring it down to a feasible chunk size that we can interpret. But that system keeps info from getting to your consciousness. So, if you have ever had the experience where you were looking for the salt and you are unable to see it. You ask “where is the salt?” You hear the answer “it is in the cupboard” and you say “no I’m looking in the cupboard and it is not there.” They come up beside you, reach into the cupboard you are looking at and grab the salt and hand it to you. That is the Reticular Activating System doing its job.

Now that we have talked about What the Reticular activating system does let’s talk about how it is programmed. You, people from your past and those you surround yourself with are the ones that programmed this filter in what to look for and what not to look for. This system is part of the subconscious. Now if we go back to looking for the salt, how is it we filtered it out of what we saw? Well maybe we thought it looked differently. So, what came through our eyes did not match the vision we had in our head. Maybe it was in an area we didn’t expect it to be. If we look at why you see things that go wrong in your life. That is because that is what we filter for and so those are the things we notice.

How does this work with emotions or feelings? Let’s look at those of you who feel unlovable. Well guess what you are filtering out all the experiences or things that are in front of your eyes that would help you to feel loved by this reticular activating system (RAS). See this system will put at the forefront of your conscious mind all evidence that can be construed as fulfilling the belief or filter you have set up. If you believe you are not liked at work the reticular activating system will be looking for evidence to back up that belief and it is the only thing that it will let the conscious mind see. You see what you see because of what you believe. The belief has to come first. “Believing is seeing” according to the evidence and scientific work done on the RAS.

We have talked about the things that you are struggling with in this podcast. I have talked with you about the importance of nutrition. I have found a clinically proven product that I drink one packet a day and it gives my body all the micro nutrients it needs. This is a natural product you will love. Best of all it comes with a 100% Money back guarantee, so there is no risk. Many doctors are now recommending this. Start your day like I do with a packet of nutrition. Goto https://kengerber.kyani.com/ Join me in having your packet each day to improve your health!

Today we are looking at the Habit of the most successful people. We then started to talk about the Reticular Activating System (RAS). This system is very important to our lives and existence. If everything we saw was given equal billing and came through to the conscious mind, your brain would melt down or explode. The RAS is why we have a confirmation bias. This filter is necessary to keep us alive. The problem is not with the filter. It has an important job and it does it.

Since it is not a problem of the system what is the problem? The problem is with the programming. We get to determine what we agree with, which is how to change the program. The program is one of your choosing. This is one of the reasons that we have talked about who you surround yourself with. They help with the programming of the RAS.  Another way to reprogram the RAS is through visualization and mindfulness. Opportunities are everywhere. You pass them by every day.  If not, there would be places that no one could ever get out of. There is proof in every community of people finding opportunity and moving out. The difference comes not from the place or the perceived lack of opportunity but from the programming of the RAS. Once you start to reprogram the brain you will start to spot opportunity, evidence, and coincidences so you can build momentum.  

I get that this RAS is important but how does this apply to the habits of the most successful people. The answer is successful people purposefully program the RAS. They do this through visualization. When doing visualization, they close their eyes. Then in those visualizations they see a specific picture of what it looks like in your life when yourself worth has improved. You visualize how you speak up more because of your feelings of self-worth. You will see yourself being connected, defining boundaries, and feeling complete. You are going to see the value that you have. You will see yourself doing the things that will get you to the life you want. In that vision state.

The next thing that you will do after visualizing the specific purpose is to consciously think of the positive emotions you will experience. You will see yourself happy, healthy, and strong. You will know that you will stand taller. That you will be able to share your unique gifts with this world because of knowing who you are. There I am, I got a raise, or promotion! There I am, I got another customer. There I am, I graduated from college. Doing this is actually training your brain to have a totally different filter. One of the most amazing things about your brain is, it is unable to tell the difference between what happened to you when you got an A in your class in 11th grade or the things you visualize happening to you. If you can make it a complete experience with senses and emotions your brain will process them the same way. There is no difference to your brain between real and imagined experiences. When you visualize this way, it encodes it as a real memory. As you visualize in this way you will gain more confidence, security, and the actual skill needed to do it.

So, if you are tired of suffering, not feeling loved or accepted, having low self-esteem, feeling burnt out, if you’re suffering from Imposter Syndrome; If you want to struggle less and enjoy more. If you want a truly amazing life that is connected and complete, you need the “you have value program” If you are willing to make some changes, be kind to yourself, and continue to try, or stop chasing comfort. I would love to help you to create who you are actually capable of becoming.  Contact me.

“Next time you’ll hear the greatest of moments are often small ones …

I want each of you to know I appreciate each and every one of you. I’m grateful for your friendship. You mean a lot to me. I know you have overcome some really tough things to get here. Like I said at the beginning there are a few things you can do to help, YAL If this message has been helpful today, please share it with a friend or family member who may need to hear it. Or sponsor it. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to this blog and leave a rating and review. Also join the Facebook Group or if you need to get yourself aligned to get your goals and dreams, contact me. Let’s get you the amazing life you want! Set up a time to talk with me so we can discuss how you can use these tools and others to get your amazing life!

What is the Solution to Your Every Problem?

What is the Solution to Your Every Problem?
Your Amazing Life
Your Amazing Life
What is the Solution to Your Every Problem?
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Welcome to “Your Amazing Life” and thanks for being here. We discuss tools and tricks to create an Amazing Life in this blog. There are a few powerful ways you can support us. It would help if you subscribe to us and leave a rating/ review, in it leave your top takeaways from what we talked about, and also interact with the community on the Facebook page. Next, be a hero to your friends and family and share it with them… Lastly, sponsor it. Your support makes a massive difference. Check out the show notes for links to the subjects we discuss and if you have any topics, you would like me to address just put it in the private Facebook group.

I want to give a couple shout outs first to a new follower FitAmbitiousBlonde and to my Alaska tribe. I appreciate them, growing and sharing the podcast with their friends and family. Let’s get into Your Amazing Life.

Did I get your attention with that title? This seemed like a great follow-up to last week’s podcasts. Maybe you think that there is no way to find a solution to every problem. Maybe you think not every problem has a solution. But the question was worded carefully. The qualifier “your” makes all the difference in this statement. The simple truth is there is a solution to your every problem. The solution when I put it out there is not one that will excite you. Maybe you won’t even want to admit that is the solution. If once I put this out and you have some resistance to the answer, I hope you will look into that resistance. Find out where the resistance comes from and why you are feeling it? It doesn’t matter if you believe the solution. It is real no matter how much you question it. There is a solution to all of your problems.

So quit beating around the bush and give you the answer already, right. Will do, the answer is plain. “You” are the solution to your every problem! This might not set well. You might think about all the things that happen outside of your control. You might consider all the times you were a victim. Now here again look at the statement I did not say that you are the reason for every problem. No, I stated that you are the solution to every problem. Things can and do happen that we do not cause to happen to us. It is not that you can control everything that happens to you. No, in this life there are some situations that are outside of our control. But at the same time there is no situation that we cannot exert some control over.  Tony Robbins, my long-time mentor said “Every problem is a gift. Without them we wouldn’t grow” The biggest way to be a solution is to take control over our stories, thoughts, and labels.

How can I be the solution? You are probably asking. I’m doubting that you are comfortable in hearing that you are the solution to all your problems. If you are the solution, why is it that you still have problems? “There is no problem outside of you that is superior to the power within you.” said Bob Proctor, another mentor of mine. I know quite a few people that do not want to believe that they are the solution; they would rather see others outside of them and things that happen to them as a villain and themselves as a victim. Think about all those you know look to others to be the solution. Bosses, government, family members, church leaders they are a victim to all. Do you know anyone like that? How many of them get what they want and how many are happy? Do they have the life you want to have? You are the solution because you are the one with the power. The power is yours you can choose to be the solution you can choose to give up your power to others. It is all your choice. 

We have talked about the things that you are struggling with in this podcast. I have talked with you about the importance of nutrition. I have found a clinically proven product that I drink one packet a day and it gives my body all the micro nutrients it needs. This is a natural product you will love. Best of all it comes with a 100% Money back guarantee, so there is no risk. Many doctors are now recommending this. Start your day like I do with a packet of nutrition. Goto https://kengerber.kyani.com/ Join me in having your packet each day to improve your health!

We are looking at the solution to all your problems. We talked about how you are the one that has the ability to find and implement every solution to counter the problems that you have. We talked about wanting things to be outside of your control. Most people want to shift the blame away for themselves. The problem with that is when you rid yourself of the blame you rid yourself of the power to change. You are not the reason for the problem, No! But you are also not powerless. There are things that you think and feel that contribute to the problems that you face. You did not ask for the problems, this is especially true in those that are abused. You did not cause it! But you do have power to change it. You can discover and implement boundaries that will keep you safe from that happening again. You do not need to have the government, or anyone else fix it for you.

So, if you are the solution to all your problems how do you make that happen? Well, there are a number of tools that we have discussed and many of them will help you become the solution. The first one is to look at and change your story. If your story is, you are powerless you will never take the power needed to move you forward. If your story is, you are waiting on someone to come and fix you. It will be a long wait and things will get worse before they get better. There are many people in the world who are looking for those willing to give up their power. Many of them are looking for people like that to take advantage of them. Even those that want to solve your problem, when you give them your power it makes the stronger and you weaker. Power is gained by overcoming the hard time. So, if they do the work, they gain the power. Do not give you power to anyone or anything. Part of your story is often that you see it as a problem. Seeing it as a problem puts you in the valley like we talked about in episode 211. Your story about your feelings can be getting in your way also. Then the thoughts you allow to move through your mind are going to make a big difference in how you feel and how to become the solutions to all your problems.

So how to become the solution. 1st devise a whole list of solutions that might work for the problem that you want solved. Come up with at least 10 possible solutions. You do not want to come up with one or two try them over and over and say see I told you nothing works. This is an important part. Do not judge the ideas you come up with. Write down all of them without judgement. Make each solution different from the others. Be specific with behaviors. You might even ask others whom you can trust for advice on solutions.

You have such power within you. You do not need any more than you have to implement what you want. If you move forward. If you put in the effort, you can create happiness in your life. If you can look around and see anyone else that has come from a place like yours and has become happy then you too have that ability. 

If you are tired of suffering, beating up on yourself, overreacting, not feeling like yourself., and doing these things over and over again; If you want to struggle less and enjoy more. If you want a truly amazing life that is connected and complete, you need the “you have value program” If you are willing to make some changes, be kind to yourself, and continue to try. I would love to help you to create who you are actually capable of becoming.  Contact me, ken@creatingyouramazing.life.

“Next time you’ll hear #1 habit of the most successful…

I want each of you to know I appreciate each and every one of you. I’m grateful for your friendship. You mean a lot to me. I know you have overcome some really tough things to get here. Like I said at the beginning there are a few things you can do to help, YAL If this message has been helpful today, please share it with a friend or family member who may need to hear it. Or sponsor it. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to this blog and leave a rating and review. Also join the Facebook Group or if you need to get yourself aligned to get your goals and dreams, contact me. Let’s get you the amazing life you want! Set up a time to talk with me so we can discuss how you can use these tools and others to get your amazing life!

Welcome to Thursdays Exchange with Rich Cardona.

Welcome to Thursdays Exchange with Rich Cardona.
Your Amazing Life
Your Amazing Life
Welcome to Thursdays Exchange with Rich Cardona.
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Welcome to “Your Amazing Life” and thanks for being here. We discuss tools and tricks to create an Amazing Life in this blog. There are a few powerful ways you can support us. It would help if you subscribe to us and leave a rating/ review and in it leave your top takeaways from what we talked about, and also interact with the community on the Facebook page. Next, be a hero to your friends and family and share it with them… Lastly, sponsor it. Your support makes a massive difference. Check out the show notes for links to the subjects we discuss and if you have any topics, you would like me to address just put it in the private Facebook group. I would like to give props to my Delaware family. They have been sharing this podcast with their friends and family.

Ken:

We have Rich Cardona. Rich is an amazing Personal Brand and Video Strategist. He is also a podcast host of the “Leadership Locker” and a retired Captain in the Marine Corps; Welcome to the Your Amazing Life show. 

Rich: 

Thank you so much for having me. I’m excited to be here.

Ken:

All right, so tell me how things started, how did you get to where you are now?

Rich:

It’s a long long road full of switchbacks and uphill climbs as a personal branding and video strategist. It kind of started when I made a very very conscious choice to leave the job, I was in. I was working for Amazon at the time I had spent two years there after the Marine Corps. It’s a pun but I worked at a fulfillment center and it was very unfulfilling. I didn’t like it at all, I was able to work hard which appealed to me. But I didn’t realize how it was affecting the rest of my life. You know things were getting out of control, I wasn’t myself, my family suffered, I suffered. It is just one of those situations in life, where you’re just kind of stopped in your tracks and everything around you is telling you that this is just not going to work anymore. It was not where you need to be, this is not how you are going to make a living. So, I quit, my wife gave me permission to quit, I like to say. She supported that decision fully and we all moved in with her parents. We moved from a nice big Texas home into her parents’ home in rural Virginia. Then I started exploring things I wanted to do. It sounds ridiculous. I was 38 and I just started exploring what I wanted to do as if I was a teenager. But at the same time, I feel any weight, any pressure because of the support, not to say that I was free-loading or anything like that, but I had every intention of determining what it was and what I wanted to do. Time went on and I had planned on being there like 2 months, it ended up being 6 months. But by doing that I was able to find out exactly what I needed to be doing and that was shining a light on executives, entrepreneurs, and business owners. Many of whom had no video content and I started by simply recording and posting some interviews that I had done with some of my mentors so I could build a following. Then I just realized why aren’t these leaders posting on LinkedIn, why aren’t they posting here. How many people could benefit from hearing what they have to say and their experience. They are not pitching, they’re not talking about work, not selling anything. They are just talking. That was it, I mean I realized okay this is something I have to go all in on. I started doing a little bit of free work, then after some of the free work came some offers. Then after some of the offers came, I got some delivered work and then that delivered work was good enough to get recommended to other people. Up and up, we went. That’s kind of the shortest version of how we ended up where I am today. I’m just thrilled, I’m thrilled to be where I am. I was just writing copy for my post tomorrow. I was talking about how happy I am that I’m able to get up out of bed every day. 

Rich also answered these questions  

Tell me about the importance of vision and how do people get there?

What was the most “uncomfortable” or difficult change you had to make?

Do you have any skills or talents that most people don’t know about?

What does it take to have an amazing life?

If there were only three ideas that you leave for this world and your posterity, what 3 ideas would you leave for them that could lead them to have an amazing life?

Listen to the full interview

What is the best way for folks to connect with you? https://www.linkedin.com/in/richcardona/

Rich, I want to recognize you. You are great at bringing people together and providing content on building a business and all the things related. You provide a great example to other Veterans as well as help to get them what they want!

Next time we will talk about what is the solution to your problem?

I want each of you to know I appreciate each and every one of you. I’m grateful for your friendship. You mean a lot to me. I know you have overcome some really tough things to get here. Like I said at the beginning there are a few things you can do to help, YAL If this message has been helpful today, please share it with a friend or family member who may need to hear it. Or sponsor it. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to this blog and leave a rating and review. Also join the Facebook Group or if you need to get yourself aligned to get your goals and dreams, contact me. Let’s get you the amazing life you want! Set up a time to talk with me so we can discuss how you can use these tools and others to get your amazing life!

How to Step Up When Times are Tough

How to Step Up When Times are Tough
Your Amazing Life
Your Amazing Life
How to Step Up When Times are Tough
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Welcome to “Your Amazing Life” and thanks for being here. We discuss tools and tricks to create an Amazing Life in this blog. There are a few powerful ways you can support us. It would help if you subscribe to us and leave a rating/ review, in it leave your top takeaways from what we talked about, and also interact with the community on the Facebook page. Next, be a hero to your friends and family and share it with them… Lastly, sponsor it. Your support makes a massive difference. Check out the show notes for links to the subjects we discuss and if you have any topics, you would like me to address just put it in the private Facebook group.

Times might seem like they are tough right now. There is much going on in the world. Many things have never been so divided and things have never been such a global problem as they are today. Covid death rate in the US has gone down since covid started. But India has over 350 thousand confirmed new cases a day and almost 4,000 deaths a day. There is no place where there are people on this earth that has not been affected. But it has not affected every place equally, places like India are getting hit harder than others like Greenland. Then if we look at the individual lives and how they have been affected. You might be suffering from unemployment. You might not have the money you need for essentials. You might be lonely and have been by yourself for the last year and a half. Maybe you have lost loved ones or family to sickness or unrest. There are multiple reasons that can cause suffering right now.

“Peaks and valleys are connected. The errors you make in today’s good time create tomorrow’s bad time. The wise thing you do in today’s bad times creates tomorrow’s good times.” Spencer Johnson MD. I was the man who lived in the valley for years and years. The valleys are the moments when you long for something that is not in your life. When we think this is a tough time then we are in the valley. There was a group on LinkedIn that I am a part of and they were talking about a post. “Train your mind to see the good in everything. Positivity is a choice. The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.” averstu.com. One of the people asked about the difference between genuine and toxic positivity. What they were talking about was the peaks and valleys. But the peaks are not related to the good times. The peaks are related to how you feel about the experience. If we judge the experiences that we have then there will be both positive and negative ones. We will find tough times, right? We find tough times because we judge the experiences we have. When we judge them, we then label them as either positive or negative. When we label them as negative, we then put ourselves into the valley. We are looking at the experience and wanting something other than what happened. Can we change what happened? Can we have a different experience? No of course we can’t. The only thing we can change is the label and desire we have in regard to that experience. This is what I call “your story.” Your story is the way you label things that happen to you. It is the meaning you apply to experiences. It is the thought processes you have developed. That story can come from every different part of your body. We talked with Tyler Watson in episode 196 how each part of the body has memory. Those memories from different parts of your body can call thoughts to your mind. So, your entire body creates your story. It causes the beliefs that you have. It is so important to be careful with the story that you create. 

We have talked about the things that you are struggling with in this podcast. I have talked with you about the importance of nutrition. I have found a clinically proven product that I drink one packet a day and it gives my body all the micro nutrients it needs. This is a natural product you will love. Best of all it comes with a 100% Money back guarantee, so there is no risk. Many doctors are now recommending this. Start your day like I do with a packet of nutrition. Goto https://kengerber.kyani.com/ Join me in having your packet each day to improve your health!

We are going over how to step up during tough times. We talked about some of the things going on right now that many people label as tough. We then went into how the thoughts that we have create either a peak or a valley. The valley is what we experience when we think things are bad. We talked about “story” and how it is created from our entire body. Through the memories that are located throughout our bodies and in every cell. Most of the tough times are tough due to the label we apply to the experience.

So, if that is the case how do we change the labels and get to the peaks in life? Well for changing the memories throughout the body tools like the one that Tyler Watson shared with us works great. In dealing with your “story” be creative with your labels. This even works with the death of someone close to you. I get that they will be missed. Some of you might even think that they left before they should have. But those are labels. It can be hard with that kind of loss and that experience can create huge and long-lasting grief. It is not that we can be happy about the loss but we can be grateful for the time we had together. We can look at what we got from the relationship instead of what we lost. This goes back to a statement I have been telling people for quite a while. I have used it to explain why I want to keep my religious beliefs but it can go deeper than that. “If I am wrong about the way I choose to think and feel I would rather be wrong and feel happy and complete then be right in what I think and feel and be miserable.” So, you have the ability to choose how you will think and feel and those will come from the thoughts and labels that you explain the experiences that come into your lives.

For many of us when tough times come, we want to blame others and the experiences. We then tend to withdraw from others. We look to find people that will bemoan our situation with us. We think about the problem over and over and we do not move our bodies. All of those things are the exact opposite of what would get us over the experiences. Instead of blaming if we focus on the parts that we can control we can see the things that we can change. No matter what it was that happened to us there are things about the situation that we can control. Those things that we can control we can change. No matter what happened or what we did we can find people who understand and will be able to assist us. We can find friends who will help us to build our lives and see the positive aspects that can come from any situation. Having supportive people around is key to success. Moving our body will help us be healthy and to change our thought processes. This has been proven by science! Practicing mindfulness, and controlling your mind and the thoughts that enter will allow you to overcome the negative mindset. These are real and key experiences to overcoming the valleys in our life.

If you are tired of suffering from negative thought patterns, and beating up on yourself, overreacting, Not feeling like yourself, and doing it over and over again; you need the “you have value program” If you want to struggle less and enjoy more. If you want a truly amazing life that is connected and complete, then we need to talk. If you are willing to make some changes, be kind to yourself, and stop chasing comfort. I would love to help you to create who you are actually capable of becoming.  Contact me, ‪(801) 449-0750‬.

“Next time you’ll hear an interview With Rich Cardona and he will talk about being 38 and how he needed to start exploring what he wanted to do with his life…

I want each of you to know I appreciate each and every one of you. I’m grateful for your friendship. You mean a lot to me. I know you have overcome some really tough things to get here. Like I said at the beginning there are a few things you can do to help, YAL If this message has been helpful today, please share it with a friend or family member who may need to hear it. Or sponsor it. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to this blog and leave a rating and review. Also join the Facebook Group or if you need to get yourself aligned to get your goals and dreams, contact me. Let’s get you the amazing life you want! Set up a time to talk with me so we can discuss how you can use these tools and others to get your amazing life!

When is it Time to Give Up on Your Dreams?

When is it Time to Give Up on Your Dreams?
Your Amazing Life
Your Amazing Life
When is it Time to Give Up on Your Dreams?
/

Welcome to “Your Amazing Life” and thanks for being here. We discuss tools and tricks to create an Amazing Life in this blog. There are a few powerful ways you can support us. It would help if you subscribe to us and leave a rating/ review, in it leave your top takeaways from what we talked about, and also interact with the community on the Facebook page. Next, be a hero to your friends and family and share it with them… Lastly, sponsor it. Your support makes a massive difference. Check out the show notes for links to the subjects we discuss and if you have any topics, you would like me to address just put it in the private Facebook group.  I want to give a couple shout outs first to Aaron and to my Washington listeners. I appreciate them, growing and sharing the podcast with their friends and family. It makes things better for me. Let’s get into Your Amazing Life.

I’m betting a few of you also deal with this. For me it gets this way sometimes. I think oh it isn’t working or I can’t do it. Those and a host of other negative thoughts start in on me. They crash through my consciousness through all my waking moments, they overpower my rationale. Right now, this has been affecting me. I have not felt like writing and producing the podcast. Has the podcast changed? Has my ability to write changed? No of course not. There has been nothing that has changed my ability. No, The problem has come from my expectations. I have been dreaming of different experiences. I want more or different outcomes from those that I am receiving. Well, will quitting get me the outcomes I want? No of course not. But how many of you think rationally about things when your expectations aren’t being met? Come on there has to be one or two of you out there that have experienced this. 

So why is it that we feel this way? Let’s look into why failure is scary. Well, what are the emotional consequences we have tied to failure? Maybe they are a reflection of our abilities and our self-worth? I mean ME tie my Income into my Self Worth, No way right.? We don’t do that. Remember when we talked about Sarah Blakley in episode 165. I don’t know about you but I have not been celebrating my failure this last week. But how many times can I fail before it is time to quit is the question. If a dream is not materializing at, what point do you decide to give up rather than to keep fighting? Which is harder to keep going or to quit? My life it has always been easier to quit. It doesn’t matter how many hours I have invested. It is difficult to keep going when the investment you make doesn’t equal the outcome you expect.

Does it matter what you are quitting? What if it is a job that pays good money, or dropping out of college and entering the job market, what about a relationship that provides security and stability? What do you do? Is it easier to quit or to keep going? How do you react to quitting? Do you look at that as failure? Do you see failure as representing strength? Do you see failure as a bitter pill? How do you feel towards those that experience failure? My wife and I love to go to the hockey games. It is always fun. I heard that being a goalie is very difficult. “What if every mistake you made was followed by a loud horn and a red-light flashing.” If you saw letting a puck through as failure. That could mess with you right. But how many of us are telling a similar story? If I convert one out of ten sales calls, or I give a presentation that is not accepted. If I reach out to a person and they reject me? The horn and red flashing light are going off in our heads, right? It doesn’t matter what we are failing at. Our emotional wellbeing is often affected and sometimes we think it will just be easier to give up.

We have talked about the things that you are struggling with in this podcast. I have talked with you about the importance of nutrition. I have found a clinically proven product that I drink one packet a day and it gives my body all the micro nutrients it needs. This is a natural product you will love. Best of all it comes with a 100% Money back guarantee, so there is no risk. Many doctors are now recommending this. Start your day like I do with a packet of nutrition. Goto https://kengerber.kyani.com/ Join me in having your packet each day to improve your health!

Today we have been talking about giving up on your dreams. I told you how I have wanted to give up. Many of you have gone through something similar where your expectations aren’t met so you want to give up and quit. Many of us see it as a failure and many of us have a loud horn and red light flashing each time, we think we fail. I know that Edison failed thousands of times over many years. That rational thought doesn’t keep me going when my emotions are screaming you are going to look like a fool for keeping this up.

How do we celebrate the experience whether the expectation is met or not? If we celebrate the experience instead of the win, we can change the influence of our performance. For us stuck in this program we are feeling the performance = worth. Maybe you were told that like I was my expectations are about the performance that I make. I also have expectations about my worth. I hit myself with a double whammy. I have these expectations on both sides of worth and performance. These expectations are what limit my belief and confidence. I expect that I am worth so much to so many people. That is where I stay in that expectation. I am worth this job or this relationship. I am worth being treated in this way. We can experience things based on our expectations.

Here again we can change our view. We can change our view of our failures. We can put new meaning to them. Our failures can just be experiences that give us feedback on things that need tweaking. We, like Edison, can say “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Is your current view of failure working for you? Does it get you what you want? If not, maybe you also need to change your view and to adopt Sarah Blakley or Thomas Edison’s view of failure. Look at “failure” or life’s “disasters” as another way that doesn’t work so find an alternative path. Those who are successful are able to reframe their “failures.” They move forward and find a different way to get to the goal. If you are driving from New York to California There are many ways that can get you to your destination. If there is a storm and the road you are on is closed and flooded or under construction. You could stop and bemoan the fact that you are stuck or you can turn and drive one way or the other till you get to the next open road. This will get you to your destination. The trip might take more time. It might include quite a bit of changing directions. Maybe you even have to backtrack. But you don’t have to be stopped. Just like in driving you have the ability to direct your trip to check the map and find if there are other roads whether highways or side roads that will get you to your destination. You have the ability to change the story you tell yourself about your route.

If you are tired of suffering, tired of your story of failure, maybe your story causes you to overreact, and you do these over and over again; If you want to change your story and quit feeling like you have failed and enjoy life more. If you want a truly amazing life that is connected and complete, you need the “you have value program” If you are willing to make some changes, change your definition of failure and stop chasing comfort. I would love to help you to create who you are actually capable of becoming.  Contact me, 801-449-0750.

“Next time you’ll hear How to Step Up When Times are Tough…

I want each of you to know I appreciate each and every one of you. I’m grateful for your friendship. You mean a lot to me. I know you have overcome some really tough things to get here. Like I said at the beginning there are a few things you can do to help, YAL If this message has been helpful today, please share it with a friend or family member who may need to hear it. Or sponsor it. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to this blog and leave a rating and review. Also join the Facebook Group or if you need to get yourself aligned to get your goals and dreams, contact me. Let’s get you the amazing life you want! Set up a time to talk with me so we can discuss how you can use these tools and others to get your amazing life!

How to Ask for Help Without Being Devastated

How to Ask for Help Without Being Devastated
Your Amazing Life
Your Amazing Life
How to Ask for Help Without Being Devastated
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Welcome to “Your Amazing Life” and thanks for being here. We discuss tools and tricks to create an Amazing Life in this blog. There are a few powerful ways you can support us. It would help if you subscribe to us and leave a rating/ review, in it leave your top takeaways from what we talked about, and also interact with the community on the Facebook page. Next, be a hero to your friends and family and share it with them… Lastly, sponsor it. Your support makes a massive difference. Check out the show notes for links to the subjects we discuss and if you have any topics, you would like me to address just put it in the private Facebook group. I want to give a couple shout outs first to a new listener Amy and to my Florida tribe. I appreciate them, growing and sharing the podcast with their friends and family. It makes a huge difference getting my voice out there. Let’s get into Your Amazing Life.

I’m sure you have been there, you know you need help, you want help, but the fear of asking for it is too great. It is easier to just sit there and suffer than to open yourself up and ask for help. It could be a project at work or something in your life. But asking for help is the hardest thing for many of us to do. Maybe you see yourself as someone who helps others. It could be that you want others to see you as strong. It could be that you see asking for help as weakness. There are a lot of misconceptions. Maybe you don’t see yourself as worthy of the help that you need or you think you will brother or be a drain on others. I’m sure there are more reasons and whatever yours is, you just set their suffering without asking. 

The truth is that humans are a pack or social being. We are designed to work together. We could not survive on our own as we developed as a race. We need help because it may be something too big and heavy for one person; like trying to lift or move a grand piano by yourself. How many of you would even attempt that? Maybe it is just something outside your wheelhouse, something you do not have the skill or talent to do. But trying to accomplish these tough things on your own will lead to feelings of being alone. Even though asking for help may seem difficult it is what will serve and support you. It is what you are hardwired to do. This is how we survived on this planet. You could not kill a lion or bison on your own. It took a team. Nothing great in history has been done without a team. You are not meant to be alone. You are not the only one who suffers. By asking for help others can get the idea that it is okay for them to also ask. It is because of our need to be together, that asking creates a bond. 

But when we are at our lowest point, we would rather do anything but ask for help right? When I felt like I wasn’t worth it and wanted to stop living. I did not feel that I deserved to ask for help. I was very vulnerable because I would not get help. Many people, maybe you included, struggle to ask for help. Many think that asking for help shows weakness. But the opposite is the truth. It takes no courage to set and suffer in silence. Those that do that are not “strong.” They are misinformed or lying to themselves. It is true courage to stand up and say that “I need help.” Being brave or strong means reaching out and asking for help. We all need it from time to time. Recognizing that we need it makes us human. It makes us part of the group. I know you have been asked for help by people. I’m betting most often you gave it. But not being able to ask separates you from those around you. It makes you feel alone. Even if you don’t think about it consciously, you are aware at some level that others come to you and you help them. Learning to properly ask for help is one of the most important skills we can learn. It can literally save our life.

We have talked about the things that you are struggling with in this podcast. I have talked with you about the importance of nutrition. I have found a clinically proven product that I drink one packet a day and it gives my body all the micro nutrients it needs. This is a natural product you will love. Best of all it comes with a 100% Money back guarantee, so there is no risk. Many doctors are now recommending this. Start your day like I do with a packet of nutrition. Goto https://kengerber.kyani.com/ Join me in having your packet each day to improve your health!

So today we are talking about asking for help. We spoke about how that is often the last thing we want to do. We talked about the thoughts and feelings we have that keep us from asking for help. We then talked about the lie we tell ourselves that it is courageous or strong to not ask for help. It is difficult to ask for help but we are built to work with others and get help. Even though you may not see it, we have been genetically encoded to work together. Now let’s talk about how we ask for help? 

The most important question I think we can answer today is; How do we ask for help? To start with “We Must Ask” using words. Mind reading is not something that we can rely on. Asking out loud for what we need is very important. The correct way to ask, is just to be honest and tell them that you need help, and what you need help with. It is important to say it with confidence and be straightforward also. Using honesty, confidence and being straightforward gives people a feeling that you can be trusted. It lets them know that you want their help and you think highly of them and their abilities to help you overcome the problem. You might find the person you asked for help has a deeper understanding of the problem than you expected. Maybe they too have dealt with it or something close to it in their life. Asking will help you understand that you are not alone! It will bring you closeness with those that you ask.

Some tools to use before asking someone for help. First know your audience before making the request. Is this a person that will know how to help? Will they have the knowledge and be able to explain to me how to get past the problem? Will they see the need I have? Do they care enough to put in the effort to help me find the answer? Next tool is to formulate the words and questions you want answered before you go and ask.This goes back to the straightforward part. If you stumble around and do not know how to ask the question It will be very difficult for someone to understand the problem and help you find a solution. Do not provide more or less information than is needed for them to make a correct decision. Then once you get the help once they have told you the information that you needed. Make sure you act on it right away. This will show that you value their information. This will dispel anxiety and reduce the chance of your doubts paralyzing your actions. Another tool is to show kindness, and show compassion towards all. These tools will help you to be able to ask for and get the help that you want.

Some other tools that are great to include in asking for help are words that let the person know that they are part of a group that is important to us. For example, “You are a great friend and have been a big part of my happiness. I could really use your help with figuring out this problem.” As long as you are being honest with this it is a great way to get others to help you. It includes them in your group and will give them a positive feeling about helping you. Next is to let them see how this will be effective. Them knowing the outcome will give motivation for them to help you. These tools will help you not only ask but to get the help you ask for turning you into a strong, and confident person that is able to ask for help.

If you are tired of suffering, beating up on yourself, overreacting, not having the confidence to ask for help; If you want to struggle less and enjoy more. If you want a truly amazing life that is confident, connected and complete, you need the “you have value program” If you are willing to make some changes, be kind to yourself, or stop chasing comfort. I would love to help you to create who you are actually capable of becoming.  Contact me, ‪(801) 449-0750.

“Next time you’ll hear about my struggle and when to give up …

I want each of you to know I appreciate each and every one of you. I’m grateful for your friendship. You mean a lot to me. I know you have overcome some really tough things to get here. Like I said at the beginning there are a few things you can do to help, YAL If this message has been helpful today, please share it with a friend or family member who may need to hear it. Or sponsor it. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to this blog and leave a rating and review. Also join the Facebook Group or if you need to get yourself aligned to get your goals and dreams, contact me. Let’s get you the amazing life you want! Set up a time to talk with me so we can discuss how you can use these tools and others to get your amazing life!