Welcome to Thursday’s Exchange with Di Snarr

Welcome to Thursday’s Exchange with Di Snarr
Your Amazing Life
Your Amazing Life
Welcome to Thursday’s Exchange with Di Snarr
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Welcome to “Your Amazing Life” and thanks for being here. We discuss tools and tricks to create an Amazing Life in this blog. There are a few powerful ways you can support us. It would help if you subscribe to us and leave a rating/ review, in it leave your top takeaways from what we talked about, and also interact with the community on the Facebook page. Next, be a hero to your friends and family and share it with them… Lastly, sponsor it. Your support makes a massive difference. Check out the show notes for links to the subjects we discuss and if you have any topics, you would like me to address just put it in the private Facebook group.

Ken: We have Di Snarr on the show today. She Owns a “Touch of Healing” Kinesiology Di and I met on LinkedIn and it was just amazing. I was very moved by her story and I know you will be too. Di was on a podcast called “Just Interesting People” which was an awesome interview. Welcome to the show. What is the toughest thing you have had to overcome in your life?

Di: There were a lot of tough things I had to deal with. I think the top one is abuse, first being abused by others, and then because of that, I would abuse others, just in my interactions with them. Like at school when I was a kid or my siblings, and then I abused myself. The way I was, isolated me, so then I would abuse myself. It was a rough road to learn how to get out of those experiences.

Ken: You said you abused yourself. I mean I think all of us can relate to that.  But how did that look for you?

 Di: I was very promiscuous for a few of my teenage years between the age of 14 – 17. Some people would say being promiscuous, that’s not a problem. But when you’re doing it in a sense that you’re trying to continue old abusive habits. That’s where the problem is. When you have those experiences when you have any kind of sexual experience. Whether it’s by yourself or someone else or you’re looking at pornography or anything and anything of a sexual nature. Your body releases hormones and chemicals that connect you to that experience and so it affects you for your life. So, for those who experience abuse that way it takes such deep healing. It takes a long time to heal, for some people they may never heal. 

Ken: Yeah, when you are abused, they take your boundaries and they blow him up, right? 

Di: Yeah, you’re violated, you’re damaged, you’re never the same. It affects you on every level; spiritual, physical, emotional, and mental and then however many levels each of those contain. So, you know if you’re a religious person that can help with your spirituality, then for your emotional support you have to see a therapist. Then for physical, you never feel clean. It’s so damaging especially when it happens so young, and that’s all you know, it’s normal.  You eventually learn it hasn’t happened to everyone around you and then you see them as clean. Now kids are so intuitive, so when I was in school the kids could sense there was something different. They couldn’t put a name to it or understand it unless they had a similar experience. You know they don’t know what to call it, but then they could sense the energy coming off of me. They don’t know what to do with it, so I was relentlessly teased, I tied up at recess and they would throw rocks at me. It was a vicious cycle from the beginning until I met my husband. When we met, I told him everything about my life, cuz I didn’t want any secrets. I didn’t want anybody to come to him and say “did you know this about her?” or like “this is who she really is.” or whatever. I was upfront with him, and it’s not something that he learned growing up, cuz he didn’t have an easy time either. But he discovered some things and then taught me that really helped me to come out of that. I was then able to learn what kind of things are acceptable, what’s not acceptable, and how to love myself.

Ken: You said the abuse started early, when did it start?

Di: I learned last December, while I was doing the meditation at a metaphysical shop. During this meditation, I wasn’t expecting it but I came up with the memory of the abuse that happened when I was a baby. This is the first time I was raped. O did have that confirmed by a family member so that was true.

Ken: You know there are so many people who have gone through this. right? I mean rape and abuse is rampant now. 

Di: It happens much more than people want to admit even and then when it happens to your family you don’t want to admit that it’s done to your family member whether it be your brother, your kid, or you know whoever. I want to be open about these things, so people have the courage to stand up and say hey this happened to me. This could even lead them to get the support and healing they need.

Ken: I talked to you earlier about your show on just interesting people and after hearing that I shared it with my foster daughter and she has been abused and is working on overcoming it. So, I shared that with her and she really learned some good things from that. She was really appreciative of that interview.

Listen to the podcast for the full interview

We have talked about the importance of nutrition in many of our episodes. I have found a clinically proven product that I drink one packet a day and it gives my body all the micronutrients I need. This is an all-natural product you will love. The packet is filled with superfoods and all their nutrients. Best of all it comes with a 100% Money back guarantee, so there is no risk. Many doctors are now recommending this. Start your day as I do with a packet of nutrition. You are going to want to try this. Go to https://kengerber.kyani.com/ The information is to order or to join me ins all on the website. Join me in having Kyani each day to improve your health!

We are back with Di Snarr from “Touch of Healing” Kinesiology. She has been telling us about how she was abused and how she overcame it.

We also talked about:

What tools helped you to get to where you are now?

What was your top priority in beginning a change for the better?

If there were only three ideas that you leave for this world and your posterity, what 3 ideas would you leave for them that could lead them to have an amazing life?

What is the best way for folks to connect with you? personalpathways1111@gmail.com

Di, I want to recognize you. You have done the work of looking at what has happened to you and changing the thoughts and story that you created. You now share your story with others to help them change their story. That takes great strength and courage.

I want each of you to know I appreciate each and every one of you. My friends, this blog is about you. If something I said resonated with you, I would love to hear about it. By following me you get to hear about me, my dreams, my goals. You get to know me, hear what I’m thinking and learning about. Well, I want to hear from you. I want to know what is going on for you. The ways you can tell me about what you are learning about and going through are #1 you can talk with me on the Facebook Group or #2 set up a time to talk with me so you can tell me about who you are and what you want. #3 Sponsor some of the episodes that have made the biggest difference for you. #4 If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to this podcast and leave a rating and review. I would love to discuss how you can use these tools and others to get your amazing life!

Another Night Without Much Sleep

Another Night Without Much Sleep
Your Amazing Life
Your Amazing Life
Another Night Without Much Sleep
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Welcome to “Your Amazing Life” and thanks for being here. We discuss tools and tricks to create an Amazing Life in this blog. There are a few powerful ways you can support us. It would help if you subscribe to us and leave a rating/ review, in it leave your top takeaways from what we talked about, and also interact with the community on the Facebook page. Next, be a hero to your friends and family and share it with them… Lastly, sponsor it. Your support makes a massive difference. Check out the show notes for links to the subjects we discuss and if you have any topics, you would like me to address just put them in the private Facebook group.  I want to give a couple of shout-outs first to my follower Lach and my Florida tribe. I appreciate them, growing and sharing the podcast with their friends and family. Let’s get into Your Amazing Life.

I hope you’ll bear with me this week My podcast may not be as long or maybe not as good. It has been a tough week. You know I work to be truthful with you, my friends. It hasn’t been that long since I told you I was having a tough time, but I’m going to tell you that again today. It has been a rough couple of days. I didn’t get much sleep last night. I woke up at 4:30 and was stressed out, my mind moving over and over on things that happened the day before that I couldn’t change or do anything about. I’m betting that some of you have been there. When those times hit what do you do? Last night I tried mindfulness. I tried to focus on my breathing. After 30 mins of working on that, I got up out of bed. My bed is for sleeping if that is not going to happen then I get out. There were quite a few different options when I got out of bed. I don’t know about you but when I woke up like that, I was not in the mood to start working. So instead, I started watching tv, spent time with one of my favorite shows. Now I don’t need to put a judgment on it it was not a good thing to do, nor a bad one. It did stop the noise in my head. It distracted me from the things I couldn’t get out of my head. How long has it been since your stress has affected your sleep?

So why does this happen? Most adults need between 7 and 9 hours of sleep. I’m in the 8-hour club. There are many reasons you can be suffering from sleeping difficulties, include things like habits, lifestyle, medical conditions, medications, and thought processes. Behaviors that can affect your sleep are too much stimulation before bed. Things such as TV, video games, exercising caffeine, noise disturbances, and light also affect sleep. Some of the other things that affect sleep are physical pain, prescription medications, or frequent urination. Then there are also sleep disorders: Apnea, circadian rhythm, narcolepsy, restless leg. Sleep is also affected by stress, depression, work, and the amount of exercise done. So how is your sleep and what affects it? Why are you getting the sleep you are getting?

What problems can a lack of sleep cause? High blood pressure, diabetes, heart attacks, heart failure, or stroke. Did you know that lack of sleep can lead to premature wrinkling, obesity, and lower sex drive? That’s a good enough reason to get enough sleep, right?

We have talked about the importance of nutrition in many of our episodes. I have found a clinically proven product that I drink one packet a day and it gives my body all the micronutrients I need. This is an all-natural product you will love. The packet is filled with superfoods and all their nutrients. Best of all it comes with a 100% Money back guarantee, so there is no risk. Many doctors are now recommending this. Start your day as I do with a packet of nutrition. You are going to want to try this. Go to https://kengerber.kyani.com/ Then if you would like to become a business partner contact me. Join me in having Kyani each day to improve your health!

So today we are talking about sleep. I had a bad night last night got almost 5 hours of sleep. Not enough. Woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep. Tried my usual processes and they didn’t work. Now luckily for me, this is not a normal occurrence. Most nights I sleep pretty well; at least if I’m not sleeping on a backpacking pad. I’m not as good at sleeping on the ground as I used to be. Most nights I wake up after about 7 to 8 hours of sleep. But last night there was some stress going on in my life. I often can control it better than I did yesterday. I am pretty careful about my lifestyle, habits, TV, light, and noises. So, I usually sleep well. But last night was different. But because of the health problems associated I work hard to get the correct amount of sleep.

Sleep has four stages: that we cycle through. There is “REM through “Deep” sleep. Your body and mind need to process through these uninterrupted or you will probably feel tired or have trouble concentrating. Not getting the right amount or all stages of sleep affects both our physical and mental health in a big way. We need to make sure that we get through all stages of sleep uninterrupted. 

What are some things we can do to get better sleep? First off treat getting enough sleep is important. Sleep often seems like the thing that is easiest to change and at the bottom of the list of your priorities. It is so easy to stay up late. Our bodies will at one point of the day start to slow down. You will start to yawn. This is the body’s way of preparing for sleep. Now if we stay up past the time when this happens, we get a second wind. That can keep us awake for quite a while.

Number 2 and we have talked about this in other episodes but be consistent in what time you get up and go to bed. It should be close to the same every day of the week. Within 30 mins. I know if I wake up later than normal then the next night, I will have trouble getting to sleep. 

Then number 3 is put away electronics and at least 30 mins beforehand. The blue lights that emit from phones, tablets, computers, TVs all tell your body it is daytime. Do not pick up your phone during the night. Not even to check the time. If you, do it is very likely to start your mind thinking and make it harder or impossible to get back to sleep. 

Many people would rather stay up and play or watch something rather than sleep. But for the reasons we described above it is important to get the sleep your body needs. Downtime and sleep time are not the same and the body doesn’t get what it needs from downtime.

If you are tired of suffering, tired of beating up on yourself, if you overreact; If you want to struggle less and enjoy more. If you want a truly amazing life that is connected and complete, you need the “you have value program” If you are willing to make some changes, be kind to yourself. I would love to help you to create who you are capable of becoming.  Contact me, ken@creatingyouramazing.life.

I want each of you to know I appreciate each and every one of you. My friends, this blog is about you. If something I said resonated with you, I would love to hear about it. By following me you get to hear about me, my dreams, my goals. You get to know me, hear what I’m thinking and learning about. Well, I want to hear from you. I want to know what is going on for you. The ways you can tell me about what you are learning about and going through are #1 you can talk with me on the Facebook Group or #2 set up a time to talk with me so you can tell me about who you are and what you want. #3 Sponsor some of the episodes that have made the biggest difference for you. #4 If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to this podcast and leave a rating and review. I would love to discuss how you can use these tools and others to get your amazing life!

How do you Learn New Things?

How do you Learn New Things?
Your Amazing Life
Your Amazing Life
How do you Learn New Things?
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Welcome to “Your Amazing Life” and thanks for being here. We discuss tools and tricks to create an Amazing Life in this blog. There are a few powerful ways you can support us. It would help if you subscribe to us and leave a rating/ review, in it leave your top takeaways from what we talked about, and also interact with the community on the Facebook page. Next, be a hero to your friends and family and share it with them… Lastly, sponsor it. Your support makes a massive difference. Check out the show notes for links to the subjects we discuss and if you have any topics, you would like me to address just put them in the private Facebook group. I want to give a couple of shout-outs first to Ethan a follower and to my Alaska tribe they are climbing the charts. I appreciate them for sharing the podcast with their friends and family. Now, Let’s get into Your Amazing Life.

So, the Dalai Lama XIV said, “When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new.” Do you know someone that loves to hear the sound of their own voice? Someone that likes to talk and will tell you everything that they can think of? They want to share with you their viewpoints on every subject. Then there are then others who love to listen. When we listen to understand and not just to reply we can communicate more with others. Maybe you have heard the quote you have two ears and one month. Follow that ratio. Listen more, talk less. Successful people learn by listening. 

Richard Branson has said, “Great listeners are often terrific at uncovering and putting in place strategies and plans that have a big impact.” why is it that listeners can put into place strategies and plans? Because when they listen, they get information that they didn’t have before. That information can help them to learn what it is that they need to make a decision and act on it. The only reason to listen is if you need to learn. If you know everything that needs to be known there is no need to listen. 

Listening is an active process where patience, compassion, and determination play critical roles. In order to absorb words and process the meanings, we need to concentrate. Listening promotes better relationships. It assists in building trust, resolving issues, and strengthening ties. Hearing something is not the same as listening to people. The other day I was interacting with a family member on Facebook and I probably shouldn’t have. But I commented on their post and it was not something that we agree on. They hear my comment but didn’t listen to it. They attacked my statement with something that didn’t have anything to do with my message. So, they hear that I talked but didn’t listen to what I said. They were talking so they were repeating things they already know. I have listened enough to know that my ideas disagreed with theirs, so sharing my thoughts in that medium is where I made a mistake.

We have talked about the importance of nutrition in many of our episodes. I have found a clinically proven product that I drink one packet a day and it gives my body all the micronutrients I need. This is an all-natural product you will love. The packet is filled with superfoods and all their nutrients. Best of all it comes with a 100% Money back guarantee, so there is no risk. Many doctors are now recommending this. Start your day as I do with a packet of nutrition. You are going to want to try this. Go to https://kengerber.kyani.com/ Then if you would like to become a business partner contact me. Join me in having Kyani each day to improve your health!

Today we are talking about the Dalai Lamas quote about listening to be able to learn. We talked about how Richard Branson says listening makes a big impact. People who talk do not receive new information. We talked about how important listening is and how it helps you to make better decisions. When hearing there is no need to be able to recap or to work to understand. Many people only hear with the intent of answering with their ideas or beliefs.

But true listening develops communication skills. Communication is kind of a lost art, especially with social media. It is so easy to hear without listening and then react and attack those that state something different. This reminds me of another experience. Another family member was at work and someone came into the office and they had loaded for bear. They were upset and knew that this family member would not agree with them. So, they came in arguing. They for quite a while did not even recognize that the person, they were arguing with actually agreed with them from the get-go. Here again, they hear but didn’t listen. I’m sure you have stories about how this has happened to you also.

Listening is an important skill. Like we talked about in an earlier episode, skills can be learned. To become an excellent communicator, you must first start listening with your eyes, ears, and mind open. Communicating is not just about getting your point across but about learning the points others have.

In what ways can you be more active in listening? 

  1. Maintain eye contact; It is hard to have your mind wander if you are looking someone in the eye. 
  2. Don’t grab one thought or sentence and then react to it.
  3. Ask questions about the thought or idea that expressed. Listening helps to gather facts.

If you are tired of suffering, tired of beating up on yourself, overreacting, if you use avoidance techniques; If you want to struggle less and enjoy more. If you want a truly amazing life that is connected and complete, you need the “you have value program” If you are willing to make some changes, be kind to yourself. I would love to help you to create who you are capable of becoming.  Contact me, ken@creatingyouramazing.life.

I want each of you to know I appreciate each and every one of you. My friends, this blog is about you. If something I said resonated with you, I would love to hear about it. By following me you get to hear about me, my dreams, my goals. You get to know me, hear what I’m thinking and learning about. Well, I want to hear from you. I want to know what is going on for you. The ways you can tell me about what you are learning about and going through are #1 you can talk with me on the Facebook Group or #2 set up a time to talk with me so you can tell me about who you are and what you want. #3 Sponsor some of the episodes that have made the biggest difference for you. #4 If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to this podcast and leave a rating and review. I would love to discuss how you can use these tools and others to get your amazing life!

What is a Body? Advice from a dying man

What is a Body? Advice from a dying man
Your Amazing Life
Your Amazing Life
What is a Body? Advice from a dying man
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Welcome to “Your Amazing Life” and thanks for being here. We discuss tools and tricks to create an Amazing Life in this blog. There are a few powerful ways you can support us. It would help if you subscribe to us and leave a rating/ review, in it leave your top takeaways from what we talked about, and also interact with the community on the Facebook page. Next, be a hero to your friends and family and share it with them… Lastly, sponsor it. Your support makes a massive difference. Check out the show notes for links to the subjects we discuss and if you have any topics, you would like me to address just put it in the private Facebook group.

I want to give a couple of shout-outs first to my follower Bel and to my Washington state tribe. I appreciate them, growing and sharing the podcast with their friends and family. Let’s get into Your Amazing Life.

I want to start with a quote, this was posted on Reddit byu/mylasttie wrote “We care so much about the health and integrity of our body that until death, we don’t notice that the body is nothing more than a box- a parcel for delivering our personality, thoughts, beliefs, and intentions to this world. If there is nothing in the box that can change the world, then it doesn’t matter if it disappears. I believe we all have potential, but it takes a lot of courage to realize it.” I love this thought. I love the Epiphany behind it. This kind of takes me back to Memorial Day. I have a tradition of going to the cemetery and putting out flags on the graves of veterans. As I walked around and read the gravestones, I was hit by what people put on gravestones. Many had not only the birth and death dates but the number of years they lived. If it was 6, 36, or 106 that tells so little of a person. Then this was one that I just haven’t figured out. On the headstone, it stated “world-class marketer.” Really that was the most important thing about his life? It reminded me of putting your face and name on a park bench. Now he’s marketing to those visiting the dead. What is it that you are doing with this box while you have it?

I want to share a poem by Ron Tranmer called The Dash Between. “I knelt there at the headstone of one I love and cried. The Names, with dates of birth and death, were perfectly inscribed. I pondered these two dates and how little they both mean when compared to the tiny dash that lies there in between. The dash serves as an emblem of our time here on the earth, and although small, it stands for all our years of life, and worth. And our worth will be determined by how we live each day. We can fill our dash with goodness, or waste our life away. To ourselves, as well as others, let’s be honest, kind, and true, and every day, live the way we know God wants us to. May we look for opportunities to do a worthy deed, and reach out with compassion to those who are in need. For If our hearts are full of love throughout our journey here, we’ll be loved by all who knew us and our memory they’ll hold dear. And when we die, these memories will bring grateful, loving tears, to all whose lives were touched.” What will be left behind in your dash? Cause the dash that is what is important. The dates will come and go with or without us. But what is it that is in the box that made a difference for someone else? This is a much-needed message for this time. There are so many people out there in this world filling their dash up with amazing actions. Some who are young and saved others from car fires or kidnapping, another Nicholas Winton who died at age 106 back in 2015, among other things in his dash he saved 669 children from the holocaust. There are many that we look at and we admire what they did with their dash.  Those like Nicholas Winton learned pretty early on that his body was just a box or parcel. If its only job is to deliver our personality, thoughts, and beliefs to this world. How is your body doing? Do your ideas, thoughts, get shared with the world? How many people have you saved? It may have been as easy as reaching out and saying hello and wishing someone a good day. Probably you have no idea how many you saved and that is okay. What is important is that you try each day to save at least one person. It is important that you use your body to share your personality. If you intend to make a difference in the life of someone and you act on your intent you will be able to see it fulfilled. 

We have talked about the importance of nutrition in many of our episodes. I have found a clinically proven product that I drink one packet a day and it gives my body all the micronutrients I need. This is an all-natural product you will love. The packet is filled with superfoods and all their nutrients. Best of all it comes with a 100% Money back guarantee, so there is no risk. Many doctors are now recommending this. Start your day as I do with a packet of nutrition. You are going to want to try this. Go to https://kengerber.kyani.com/ Then if you would like to become a business partner contact me. Join me in having Kyani each day to improve your health!

We are talking about the body and how it is just a parcel. Its importance is its ability to deliver our personality, thoughts, and beliefs to this world. What matters isn’t when we come to this earth nor when we leave it. What matters is what we do with the in-between of those dates. What do we pursue? Do we get out the message that is inside of you? If we die with the message still inside there is no bigger waste. If there is nothing in you that gets out to change the world then you have failed. If your body’s job is to deliver personality, thoughts, and beliefs to this world How do you accomplish that?

Well, some of it depends on why you are here and what is important to you. But we are going to start with some things that are universal. First off is to find joy. You can find joy in following the natural laws of this earth. Natural laws are laws that are outside of morals and mores. They are outside of religion. They are based on this universe and it is impossible to refute them. It doesn’t matter whether or not you believe in gravity, it works. It doesn’t matter if you believe in the law of attraction, it works. Just like all the other natural laws. I will list a couple but there are many more. There are laws of Karma, attraction, forgiveness, and receiving. These are just a few that I choose. They are not the only ones, nor are they the most important. They are just examples to get you thinking along the same lines. Successful people become successful by applying natural law. True joy comes from following these laws. Let us say we don’t follow the law of Karma and we treat someone poorly. When we then are treated in a way that karma extends, we will not be joyful. Following natural laws brings us joy.

The second universal truth is service. We are built as a group to be part of a family. We desire those ties. The way to strengthen those ties is through service. It doesn’t matter who you serve. It doesn’t matter where you serve. It only matters that you serve. You will learn to love and care for those that you serve. You will be paid dividends that you never expected from your service. Check out Just Serve.org to find service opportunities near you that can help you to do good and feel good. We as human beings we build unity through community service. We are in need of unity in the world today. The answer to some of our problems is service to one another. When you serve others both you and the person you served are blessed.  

The next universal truth is gratitude. Showing gratitude changes our lives so much. It is a simple act but it makes such a large change. Gratitude is a state of mind. It is the cornerstone of living a mindful life. Gratitude is a tool that helps you to achieve happiness, peace, and wellbeing. Gratitude becomes an offering to anything that you believe in. Gratitude is about paying it forward. Sociologist Georg Simmel calls this act “the moral memory of mankind” in his book. Here are some ways to practice gratitude. Start a gratitude journal or jar, write a letter to someone sharing what you are grateful for. Gratitude is an important tool to maintaining optimal mental physical and emotional health. 

It is important to find out what the dash in the middle is about for you. Maybe it will be marketing for you just like the guy’s headstone. Just make sure that you use marketing to get out your story. To get out your personality, thoughts, beliefs, and intentions to this world. I didn’t get it but I hope he did. I hope the dash was meaningful to him and I hope yours is meaningful to you. 

If you are like the many others who struggle with the meaning and the reason you are here. If you are tired of suffering; If you want to struggle less and enjoy more. If you want a truly amazing life that is connected and complete, you need the “you have value program” If you are willing to make some changes, be kind to yourself. I would love to help you to create who you are actually capable of becoming.  Contact me, ken@creatingyouramazing.life.

“Next time you’ll hear about how to Learn New Things? …

I want each of you to know I appreciate each and every one of you. My friends, this blog is about you. If something I said resonated with you, I would love to hear about it. By following me you get to hear about me, my dreams, my goals. You get to know me, hear what I’m thinking and learning about. Well, I want to hear from you. I want to know what is going on for you. The ways you can tell me about what you are learning about and going through are #1 you can talk with me on the Facebook Group or #2 set up a time to talk with me so you can tell me about who you are and what you want. #3 Sponsor some of the episodes that have made the biggest difference for you. #4 If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to this podcast and leave a rating and review. I would love to discuss how you can use these tools and others to get your amazing life!

Welcome to Thursdays Exchange with Carrie Mikell.

Welcome to Thursdays Exchange with Carrie Mikell.
Your Amazing Life
Your Amazing Life
Welcome to Thursdays Exchange with Carrie Mikell.
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Welcome to “Your Amazing Life” and thanks for being here. We discuss tools and tricks to create an Amazing Life in this blog. There are a few powerful ways you can support us. It would help if you subscribe to us and leave a rating/ review, in it leave your top takeaways from what we talked about, and also interact with the community on the Facebook page. Next, be a hero to your friends and family and share it with them… Lastly, sponsor it. Your support makes a massive difference. Check out the show notes for links to the subjects we discuss and if you have any topics, you would like me to address just put it in the private Facebook group.

 I want to give a shout out first to Claire, a new follower and to my new Hawaiin Listeners. For sharing it with their friends and family. Let’s get into Your Amazing Life.

We have Carrie Mikell, Carrie is a mother of 3 children ages 6-1 and has been married to the love of her life for over 7 years. She has a bachelor’s degree in business with an emphasis in finance from Brigham Young University and has been working in the financial services industry for over ten years now. Previously she focused her attention on high-net-worth retirees but recently decided she finds more joy in helping younger families achieve their dreams. When Carrie isn’t working on her business or cleaning up after her three small children, she can often be found in the great outdoors enjoying nature and taking her children on grand adventures. Welcome to the Show Carrie

Your Passion: It’s important to say that I’m first and foremost passionate about life’s adventures. I’ve traveled the world, lived and worked in 5 different countries, climbed mountains and repelled down 250ft cliffs to see sights very few people get to see, etc. I wrote my first bucket list when I was 16 and have been checking things off ever since. I’ve only been able to do this because of the personal finance principles I learned early on. As such, I’ve gained an additional passion in helping individuals and young families achieve their dreams, and I do this through sound financial coaching. As someone who is naturally logical and pragmatic, I enjoy the strategizing and quantitative work. I’m also greatly enjoying building my team, specifically focusing on incredibly talented women. I feel that I’m in a unique position to widen the world of financial consulting and make it more inclusive.

What is the toughest thing you have had to overcome in your life? It’s a long mess of a story, but I was essentially homeless during my senior year of high school. Getting myself through school and supporting myself financially — especially at that age — was a major struggle, but one that has helped shape me into who I am today.

What accomplishments are you most proud of? As an individual, I’m proud of the experiences I’ve given myself through my travels, education, and humanitarian work. Those things are central to my inner self and create a sense of purpose. Professionally, I’ve been able to see the fruits of my labors and the positive impact I’ve had on my clients in addition to having seen myself grow in understanding and know-how. Certainly not least, I am incredibly proud of my marriage and small family. I feel that those relationships are the zenith of the human experience, and I’m having the most fun I’ve ever had.

Listen to the entire interview on the podcast.

I have talked with you about the importance of nutrition in many of our episodes. I have found a clinically proven product that I drink one packet a day and it gives my body all the micronutrients I need. This is an all-natural product you will love. The packet is filled with superfoods and all their nutrients. Best of all it comes with a 100% Money back guarantee, so there is no risk. Many doctors are now recommending this. Start your day like I do with a packet of nutrition. You are going to want to try this. Goto https://kengerber.kyani.com/ Then if you would like to become a business partner contact me. Join me in having Kyani each day to improve your health!

We are back with Carrie Mikell. She is passionate about life’s adventures. She Talked about the toughest thing she had to overcome being homeless her senior year of high school. She loves and has been on many adventures.

What is the biggest goal you are working on right now?

Many people have fear and secrecy around money. Why is that and how do they get past it?

If there were only three truths that you leave for this world and your posterity, what 3 truths would you leave for them that could lead them to have an amazing life? My knowledge, hopefully a little more peace and understanding, opportunities. We really aren’t a family that focuses on obtaining things but we are big on experiences and we hope that those experiences give our children and others a greater understanding of all the good and beauty there is out there in the world. 

What is the best way for folks to connect with you?

Carrie Mikell, ChFC | LinkedIn

“Next time we’ll talk about …What is a Body? Advice from a dying man

I want each of you to know I appreciate each and every one of you. My friends, this blog is about you. If something I said resonated with you, I would love to hear about it. By following me you get to hear about me, my dreams, my goals. You get to know me, hear what I’m thinking and learning about. Well, I want to hear from you. I want to know what is going on for you. The ways you can tell me about what you are learning about and going through are: #1 you can talk with me on the Facebook Group or #2 set up a time to talk with me so you can tell me about who you are and what you want. #3 Sponsor some of the episodes that have made the biggest difference for you. #4 If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to this podcast and leave a rating and review. I would love to discuss how you can use these tools and others to get your amazing life!

You Teach People How to Treat you Through your Actions

You Teach People How to Treat you Through your Actions
Your Amazing Life
Your Amazing Life
You Teach People How to Treat you Through your Actions
/

Welcome to “Your Amazing Life” and thanks for being here. We discuss tools and tricks to create an Amazing Life in this blog. There are a few powerful ways you can support us. It would help if you subscribe to us and leave a rating/ review, in it leave your top takeaways from what we talked about, and also interact with the community on the Facebook page. Next, be a hero to your friends and family and share it with them… Lastly, sponsor it. Your support makes a massive difference. Check out the show notes for links to the subjects we discuss and if you have any topics, you would like me to address just put it in the private Facebook group. I want to give a couple shout outs first to a new follower Kate and to my California tribe. I appreciate them, growing and sharing the podcast with their friends and family. Let’s get into Your Amazing Life.

Because you are here you have had things happen to you. Maybe you have been deceived or lied to, maybe you had promises given that were not honored. Sometimes those experiences were a single event other times they happened time and again. Maybe they happen over and over again and they are from the same person. If it is a single event, like someone is supposed to call you for a job interview and doesn’t, you move on and go forward with your life. No harm no foul. A single event is less likely to be something you teach others. But if it is happening to you more than just once in a while you may be teaching others that you expect to be treated that way. We then want to look at most adult-to-adult relationships; family members, significant others, friends, and coworkers. In all of these you get to affect how you get treated in these relationships. You train others as to what you will accept and what you will not. The things that you accept will keep happening in the relationship because you gave it the okay.

Early in my wife Evelyn’s and I relationship, in fact it was while we were still dating. We discussed and set up ground rules of what was and was not acceptable behavior between the two of us. How we could act when someone got hurt, what control one could play out over the other. We both agreed that some things were not allowed for either of us to do.  We didn’t know what a big deal this would be over our marriage. But it has made a huge difference. There were a couple ruff times. Times when we had to create rules that had not been part of the initial setup. But we then determined if it was acceptable and allowable. Then we updated the contract. But due to the ground rules we set we have usually felt love and accepted as we go along. But I had to determine how I would allow myself to be treated. Then I needed to stick to those. For example, I knew that I would not allow myself to be hit, nor would I allow for my will to be taken. If I was told I couldn’t do something I would do it and pay the price however great, just so that I could say that I made the decision. So, in our relationship I created rules that told Eve how she could and could not treat me. Evelyn has done the same There are things that I have learned not to do or say to her. This has produced a very safe and satisfying relationship. 

What does not work in setting up how we want to be treated? Dishing out to others what they have dished up for us, attempting to make them pay, inflicting the pain of our emotion onto them, and trying to one up them. None of these work, because they are attempting to punish others. But this will rarely change behavior. How do you respond when being taught a lesson? Treating others this way is counterproductive and unkind. It is something that comes after the action and may or may not be seen as tied to the action. Since these do not work, I do not recommend using these. It will create unhappiness in you and your relationship.

I have talked with you about the importance of nutrition in many of our episodes. I have found a clinically proven product that I drink one packet a day and it gives my body all the micronutrients I need. This is an all-natural product you will love. The packet is filled with superfoods and all their nutrients. Best of all it comes with a 100% Money back guarantee, so there is no risk. Many doctors are now recommending this. Start your day like I do with a packet of nutrition. You are going to want to try this. Goto https://kengerber.kyani.com/ Then if you would like to become a business partner contact me. Join me in having Kyani each day to improve your health!

We are talking about how we teach others how they can treat us. We started with how we have all been lied to at some point or deceived by people we are around. We talked about it being a one-time problem or a way of life. We are discussing how our beliefs tell others the way we expect them to treat us. I gave examples of how Evelyn and I set up and then have to update our rules as time has gone on and we have learned more. Then we discussed how making them pay or inflicting pain doesn’t change the way others treat us.

So, what does work? First off teaching by example. We should want others to be treated with dignity and grace just like that is what we should expect. When you model the behavior, you want others are going to want to treat you similarly. If you are late or don’t show up for others, they will most likely treat you the same way. Many might not even do it consciously. But as we show what is important to us others will learn to treat us that way. We also teach through consistency When we speak kindly to others even when they are speaking harshly, we show them our expectations. The whole thing is to teach by example and influence. These are great ways of establishing expectations. 

After example and influence the next way to teach others how to treat us is to establish simple and appropriate boundaries. We can institute boundaries in regard with time, consideration, mutual respect and honor. Healthy boundaries smooth the flow of relationships and enable them to deeper connection. They help relationships to flourish. There is only one way to set boundaries and that is by using your voice. You must be clear on your boundaries in order to describe them to others. How long would it take to get to work in the morning if there were no stop lights or road signs. Boundaries do for your relationships what stop lights and road signs to your commute. Be sure to set appropriate boundaries and then clearly explain them.

There are two powerful tools in teaching people how we want to be treated. The first one is to reinforce behaviors that you want. What gets rewarded gets repeated. If the behavior you want is not done no need to make a speech or big deal about it. Just withholding the reward will be enough. So, if someone is late and they apologize then simply accept the apology and forgive them. If they are on time, reward them generously. The next tool is one of my favorites. It is amazing the power of an insightful question. This was made popular by the Greek philosopher Socrates. It is now known as the “Socratic” method. To use this tool, you must ask questions that lead to the discovery of truth. I used this today. My stepdaughter came in and asked should I cut this garlic in half? I answered that question with a question with the amount of information you gave me. How can I possibly answer that? Do I have the information needed to attempt it? I could have gotten out of my chair and gone into the kitchen and read the instructions. I then could have given her the answer she was looking for. But then I would have accepted responsibility for her communication. Then I would have made it harder on me and easier on her. By asking those questions she processed through the question she had asked to determine what info needed to be included to get the answer and then was able to gain the insight on how I want to be asked questions and what information needs to be included for her to get the info that she wants. It works better for people to lead it on their own rather than it being spit out at them. She will learn if I consistently apply that to each question, she asks how to ask a question with the information needed to create an answer. Then she will learn to ask those questions of herself and get the answer on her own. This will make her more independent. Using rewards and questions in relation to how people treat you are very powerful tools in how you allow yourself to be treated. 

If you are tired of suffering, beating up on yourself, overreacting, using avoidance tactics, breaking your word, and doing it over and over again; If you want to struggle less and enjoy more. If you want a truly amazing life that is connected and complete, you need the “you have value program” If you are willing to make some changes, be kind to yourself, fail forward and continue to try, or stop chasing comfort. I would love to help you to create who you are actually capable of becoming.  Contact me, ken@creatingyouramazing.life.

“Next time we’ll have Thursday’s Exchange with Carrie Mikell… she will talk about being homeless and how that created who she is and what she wants…

I want each of you to know I appreciate each and every one of you. My friends, this blog is about you. If something I said resonated with you, I would love to hear about it. By following me you get to hear about me, my dreams, my goals. You get to know me, hear what I’m thinking and learning about. Well, I want to hear from you. I want to know what is going on for you. The ways you can tell me about what you are learning about and going through are: #1 you can talk with me on the Facebook Group or #2 set up a time to talk with me so you can tell me about who you are and what you want. #3 Sponsor some of the episodes that have made the biggest difference for you. #4 If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to this podcast and leave a rating and review. I would love to discuss how you can use these tools and others to get your amazing life!

Do Results Matter if You Don’t Put in Effort?

Do Results Matter if You Don’t Put in Effort?
Your Amazing Life
Your Amazing Life
Do Results Matter if You Don’t Put in Effort?
/

Welcome to “Your Amazing Life” and thanks for being here. We discuss tools and tricks to create an Amazing Life in this blog. There are a few powerful ways you can support us. It would help if you subscribe to us and leave a rating/ review, in it leave your top takeaways from what we talked about, and also interact with the community on the Facebook page. Next, be a hero to your friends and family and share it with them… Lastly, sponsor it. Your support makes a massive difference. Check out the show notes for links to the subjects we discuss and if you have any topics, you would like me to address just put it in the private Facebook group. I want to give a couple shout outs first to my follower Sebastian and to my New York tribe. I appreciate them, growing and sharing the podcast with their friends and family. Let’s get into Your Amazing Life.

I’m betting you are normal and you base your thoughts and beliefs on results. If I got the result, I wanted then my goals were successful right? How many of you look at your day to see what you got done? It is probably not about what you worked at but what you accomplished. Let me know if I’m getting warm here. I get stuck here too. In the past I had expected to get a great job and I wanted to do it without working my way up the ladder. Or maybe you want a successful business from day one without first putting forth a little effort. People on social media, or in interviews like to show how success sneaks up on someone; and they become an “overnight” success. That is not how it usually happens. It comes as a result of having a clear personalized plan of action, and then investing the hard work and resources to allow success to come into view. If you have the results that you deem you consider yourself successful then you have put in the correct efforts for that day, right.

Most of us have had a desire or goal to lose weight at some time in our lives, right. We always go and step onto the scale to tell us if we have moved closer to our result. Maybe you even had a clear and personalized plan of action (a diet.) Maybe you have invested in the correct foods and reduced your calories. It is still the result of the scale that we look to and that we are basing our failure or success on. Most of us do not rate our success on our effort but on our results. If you doubt this, when is the last day that you said “I followed my plan and put in the effort I needed and so I was successful even though I did not get the desired results.” This might have shown up as “the scale did not go down but I ate right and felt good.” 

Let’s look at success. It operates the same way.  Athletes don’t become superstars overnight. Actors don’t go directly to Broadway. We have gone into many of the examples in past episodes. Most business people try at least 3 or 4 things before finding one that works, and most entry level jobs are little more than a learning process. Do you try more than two things or do you just figure you are not lucky enough or don’t have the contacts to be successful. Do you get stuck on the results and let that determine your effort? I mean this is very typical at least in my life. I get stuck wanting to move on to another effort because I want different results. I can’t tell you how many times I left a job because I didn’t get the money or the promotion (results) that I wanted when I wanted them. But it is not like I had put in the thousands of hours that a professional like Kobe Bryant did. We talked about him in episode #93. If you or Kobe Bryant were able to get the results without putting in the effort how would that change things? That is what many of us think that we want. What would the outcome be if Kobe picked up the ball for the first time and he could shoot then as well as he could when he retired. That would have made him a much different person. He would not have had the focus or drive that he had. What would it be like if you had what you wanted without the effort?

I have talked with you about the importance of nutrition in many of our episodes. I have found a clinically proven product that I drink one packet a day and it gives my body all the micronutrients I need. This is an all-natural product you will love. The packet is filled with superfoods and all their nutrients. Best of all it comes with a 100% Money back guarantee, so there is no risk. Many doctors are now recommending this. Start your day like I do with a packet of nutrition. You are going to want to try this. Goto https://kengerber.kyani.com/ Then if you would like to become a business partner contact me. Join me in having Kyani each day to improve your health!

We are talking about results and effort today. Which do you concentrate on? Is it the results that you shoot for? Or do you grade by your efforts? Many of us are grading on our results. It is the result we desire. The results are the business, position, money, or looks. Tell me how many of your New Year’s goals were based on results that you wanted? All of them, right. But superstars spend more time looking at the effort rather than the results. Have they spent the 1000’s of hours in effort to hone their craft to the ultimate degree? Because for the superstars they value effort more than results. they know that effort will produce results.

You need to decide what you’re willing to put into the process of bringing success into your life. Remember there are no shortcuts to success. There is no magic button. Not one thing that can be told to us and get to what we want. When looking at things that way we are concentrating on the results. But average people are the ones that concentrate on results. Successful people concentrate on effort. Truthfully the effort that you put in is the only thing that you have control over anyways. If you look at any superstar, they would not be the superstar they are if they had the results from the beginning. There would have been other things that they had learned like focus and a love of work. The reason for this is that there are things that come with the time, effort, and money that we invest. The effort, time and money we invest pays us beyond just the results we were hoping for and most of the time we do not even see it.  

Maybe you think you can’t afford to invest in your future. What are you willing to give up to bring new successes into your life? The world abhors a vacuum. If you empty things from your life there will be things that rush into fill that void. Some of the big names have recommended investing 3% of your income into success. Many of you have no idea of what that would look like. If you make just $12 an hour which is $1920 a month your investment at 3% would be $58 per month. What if your yearly income is $65,000 a year at that point it should be 5% which would be $270 a month. What if you want to make $150,000 a year well prepare yourself by investing $625 a month to increase your income. If you want to make 1 million then $4150 is your benchmark. Reach beyond what you think you can afford.  It will accelerate your success!

Remember, you can’t run without walking and you can’t get to success without investing time, effort and money. You need space to grow into what you can become. Those that you see that have gotten to success, did so because they invested 1000s of hours, and at least that much in money. They have put forth a great effort. They have also invested 1000’s to 100,000’s of dollars to get to where they want to be. The more success they want the more money they have invested to get them to where they want to be. What do you invest daily in time, effort, and money to get to where you want to be?

The only 100% successful investment is to invest in yourself. Do not block the flow of talent and opportunity that is waiting to surge through you once you invest your time, effort, and money into becoming.

If you are tired of suffering, overreacting, being stuck, breaking your word, and doing it over and over again; If you want to struggle less and enjoy more. If you want a truly amazing life and a successful life. You need the “you have value” program.  If you are willing to make some changes, be kind to yourself, and to invest in yourself. I would love to help you to create who you are actually capable of becoming.  Contact me, ken@creatingyouramazing.life.

“Next time you’ll hear … How we Teach People How to Treat Us Through Our Actions

I want each of you to know I appreciate each and every one of you. My friends, this blog is about you. If something I said resonated with you, I would love to hear about it. By following me you get to hear about me, my dreams, my goals. You get to know me, hear what I’m thinking and learning about. Well, I want to hear from you. I want to know what is going on for you. The ways you can tell me about what you are learning about and going through are: #1 you can talk with me on the Facebook Group or #2 set up a time to talk with me so you can tell me about who you are and what you want. #3 Sponsor some of the episodes that have made the biggest difference for you. #4 If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to this podcast and leave a rating and review. I would love to discuss how you can use these tools and others to get your amazing life!

Body Dysmorphia and How that Affects People’s Lives

Body Dysmorphia and How that Affects People’s Lives
Your Amazing Life
Your Amazing Life
Body Dysmorphia and How that Affects People's Lives
/

Welcome to “Your Amazing Life” and thanks for being here. We discuss tools and tricks to create an Amazing Life in this blog. There are a few powerful ways you can support us. It would help if you subscribe to us and leave a rating/ review, in it leave your top takeaways from what we talked about, and also interact with the community on the Facebook page. Next, be a hero to your friends and family and share it with them… Lastly, sponsor it. Your support makes a massive difference. Check out the show notes for links to the subjects we discuss and if you have any topics, you would like me to address just put it in the private Facebook group. I want to give a couple shout outs first to my follower Elana and to my Indiana tribe. I appreciate them, growing and sharing the podcast with their friends and family. Let’s get into Your Amazing Life.

We spoke about this a little in episode 219. Let’s start with real world examples of when and how this starts. I just saw this video but it has been around for quite a while. This video is of a 4-year-old getting her hair done and she tells the hairdresser “I’m So Ugly.” It is not uncommon for body dysmorphia to start this way. The hairdresser tries to tell the girl how beautiful the girl is. The young girl has so much energy tied up in the message that she is not pretty or enough. Body dysmorphia can easily start this early. In fact, this young girl had most likely thought this more times before saying this. The crazy thing about body dysmorphia is that there is no reality to it. Ariyonna, this young girl 4 years old already has preconceived ideas about her beauty. Her ideas and her looks don’t match. I felt this way about my red hair as a child and weight as an adult. My sons both have my build, which means they are skinny. Even when I worked out, I did not get ripped. I don’t get this big chest or well-defined muscles. You might say “I’m wiry.” One of my sons wants to be buff. He’s a dancer and wants to have hard, well defined muscles. The bottom line is he doesn’t like the way he looks. Then there are the actors and actresses we watch most of whom have problems with body dysmorphia. If you question this, look at all the ones that are constantly having plastic surgery and tummy tucks done. Some of these stars even come out and talk about these problems. We talked about a few of the stars in episode 173 and what they went through. The bottom line is body dysmorphia can start at any age and be based on any part of your body.

Where does the evidence come from, behind these kinds of thoughts?  The truth is there is no evidence. The focus is on a “perceived” defect or flaw in one’s body. But when you have body dysmorphic disorder you intensely focus on parts of your appearance and image. The people suffering from this take it to the extreme. Think about how many times you look at yourself in the mirror each day? Are you seeking out cosmetic fixes or procedures to overcome perceived flaws? Do you look for reassurance from others about how you look?  Do you fixate on your face, nose, wrinkles, hair, skin breast size, muscle tone or genitalia? But all these dysmorphic ideas have no evidence in reality. 

As these ideas continue to grow, they can start to appear in experiences such as eating disorders. Eating disorders show up as anorexia, Binge Eating Disorder (BED), and four other feeding and eating disorders. Dysmorphia also can play a part in depression, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder, substance abuse, behavioral health issues, and disfigurement due to repeated surgical interventions. I’m sure you can think of people in the news that have suffered from at least one of these. It is not hard to see how one can go from being preoccupied with the apparent flaws your body has to being on this list. These problems are very common in fact there are more than 3 million cases per year in the US alone. This is another one of those difficulties that there is no lab test you can take to find out if you have it. If body dysmorphia is left unchecked, the list of complications is serious and deadly.

I have talked with you about the importance of nutrition in many of our episodes. I have found a clinically proven product that I drink one packet a day and it gives my body all the micronutrients I need. This is an all-natural product you will love. The packet is filled with superfoods and all their nutrients. Best of all it comes with a 100% Money back guarantee, so there is no risk. Many doctors are now recommending this. Start your day like I do with a packet of nutrition. You are going to want to try this. Goto https://kengerber.kyani.com/ Then if you would like to become a business partner contact me. Join me in having Kyani each day to improve your health!

We have been discussing body dysmorphia. How some of us look at our bodies and concentrate on a particular flaw that we perceive? It can be any part of our body, our face, muscle tone, weight, or sometime smaller like a scar or wrinkle. We talked about how it affects some kids as early as 4 years old. We also talked about how this has no part in reality, just a perceived idea of what our bodies should look like. We then talked about the number of problems that come with this thought process. Eating disorders, depression and the like. Body dysmorphic thinking is a large problem in the world today.

Body dysmorphia is based on the thought of how others view them. It is about fears that you have. You fear the things you believe others will see in you. It is a good practice to include journaling, breathing, and meditation. Your ideas once written down will be observed and you will more easily be able to move past them. Once written down you might be able to see how the view you have accepted is just perceived and not as real as you originally gave it credit. Rid yourself of things that cause you to have low self-esteem. If clothing doesn’t fit you well donate it. If friends or relatives bring you feelings of not being good enough, put some distance between you and them.

You may be comparing yourself constantly with others. You may set unrealistic goals for yourself. Instead of trying to set up outcome related goals make better choices on what you eat. Eat less processed foods and more fruits and vegetables. Eat with mindfulness. Take small bites and chew with the purpose of experiencing the food and experience. Instead of spending hours in the gym Walk or ride a bike three days a week. As you make small changes, they will have a lasting effect. These small changes will also be easier to maintain.

Next is to change the story you tell yourself. Change the parts that are stored in your muscles and cells. Your story is what is creating the beliefs you have about your body. You have the power to change your thoughts. Change your behaviors. The behaviors you have adopted are the ones that keep you feeling the things you feel. Explore the difference between self-improvement and extreme or obsessive behavior. Are your feelings obsessive or extreme?
What is the outcome you are looking for? 

Get to know you! What are you feeling? Are other things bothering you? Do you have problems with anxiety, depression, insomnia, or substance abuse? To treat body dysmorphic disorder, you will have to get in touch with the real you. You will need to overcome any underlying conditions. It is important to know not just what you feel but why you feel it. You need to begin to see yourself as you really are. The amazing, beautiful, person that is in there must be seen by the eyes in your head. It will not matter what others see until you can differently interpret the information coming through your eyes.

If you are tired of suffering, and beating up on yourself, if you have extreme thoughts about how you “should be”; If you want to struggle less and enjoy more. If you want a truly amazing life that is more connected and complete, you need the “you have value program” If you are willing to make some changes, be kind to yourself. I would love to help you to create who you are actually capable of becoming.  Contact me, ken@creatingyouramazing.life.

“Next time you’ll hear about… Does results matter if you don’t put in effort?

I want each of you to know I appreciate each and every one of you. My friends, this blog is about you. If something I said resonated with you, I would love to hear about it. By following me you get to hear about me, my dreams, my goals. You get to know me, hear what I’m thinking and learning about. Well, I want to hear from you. I want to know what is going on for you. The ways you can tell me about what you are learning about and going through are: #1 you can talk with me on the Facebook Group or #2 set up a time to talk with me so you can tell me about who you are and what you want. #3 Sponsor some of the episodes that have made the biggest difference for you. #4 If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to this podcast and leave a rating and review. I would love to discuss how you can use these tools and others to get your amazing life!

Welcome to Thursdays Exchange with new author Jacquelyn Phillips.

Welcome to Thursdays Exchange with new author Jacquelyn Phillips.
Your Amazing Life
Your Amazing Life
Welcome to Thursdays Exchange with new author Jacquelyn Phillips.
/

Welcome to “Your Amazing Life” and thanks for being here. We discuss tools and tricks to create an Amazing Life in this blog. There are a few powerful ways you can support us. It would help if you subscribe to us and leave a rating/ review, in it leave your top takeaways from what we talked about, and also interact with the community on the Facebook page. Next, be a hero to your friends and family and share it with them… Lastly, sponsor it. Your support makes a massive difference. Check out the show notes for links to the subjects we discuss and if you have any topics, you would like me to address just put it in the private Facebook group.  I want to give a shout out to Jacquelyn, my guest and the California tribe. For sharing it with their friends and family. Let’s get into Your Amazing Life.

Ken:

All right today we have Jaclyn Phillips. She is a photographer, she owns an event venue, and she is an author. Her first book “Comfortably Uncomfortable” was just released. Welcome to the show Jacquelyn.

Jacquelyn:

Thanks for having me.

Ken:

You’re welcome so let’s go ahead and get into this tell me about who you were in the beginning and how you got to this place?

Jacquelyn:

So, prior to where I’m at today I spent a good portion of my years on this planet, keep in mind, I’m not even 40 yet, really just miserable. I took life in a scorched-earth approach. I assume that every interaction was a potential threat. I went about pushing others away and making myself a 1-man band. It’s not a way to live. It’s painful and it’s a lonely way to live. I had a really rough childhood and so I had developed all of these ways of managing, that weren’t helping or providing me fulfillment. I often felt myself just tired of being the broken toy in the corner. Which I wasn’t, it was a really poor mental state to be in. I had invested in myself and I decided that I didn’t want to live that life any more. So, I hired a Life coach, a regular therapist, a trauma therapist and I got meds. I started getting exercise. I put all of this effort into finding out who I really was. the happy person that was buried in there, who has been wanting to break out all along but didn’t know how. Today I share my story and I do my best to help others.

Ken:

Okay great what was the most difficult change that you had to make?

Jacquelyn:

Most Painful; That would have been having to become clean. I was really good at lying and you can only lie for so long before you get caught up in it. So, I was working on breaking the habit of lying and not embellishing my stories. That was really hard to do. Then as far as the most uncomfortable, that was falling in love with myself because for the longest time it felt really hokey, it sounded really dumb to say I love myself. But you have to love the person that you are. Because if you, don’t you can’t love anybody else, fully cuz you’re holding back. Life is much freer if you got love in your heart. 

I have talked with you about the importance of nutrition in many of our episodes. I have found a clinically proven product that I drink one packet a day and it gives my body all the micronutrients I need. This is an all-natural product you will love. The packet is filled with superfoods and all their nutrients. Best of all it comes with a 100% Money back guarantee, so there is no risk. Many doctors are now recommending this. Start your day like I do with a packet of nutrition. You are going to want to try this. Goto https://kengerber.kyani.com/ Then if you would like to become a business partner contact me. Join me in having Kyani each day to improve your health!

Jacquelyn also answers these questions. Listen to the podcast!

You’ve said in the book that improving communication with your husband was key to your journey, how did you do that?

What are your thoughts on social media and mental health? Any tips to keep it in perspective?

If there were only three truths that you leave for this world and your posterity, what 3 ideas would you leave for them that could lead them to have an amazing life?

What is the best way for folks to connect with you and buy your book? 

Web:  GrownUpGrowingPains.com Insta: @grownupgrowingpains FB: /Grownupgrowingpains

Jacquelyn, I want to recognize you in a time when many people have cut themselves off from others. You have found a way to step out and share yourself and your story with more people. That shows how strong you are. I know it will make a difference in the lives of many.

“Next time you’ll hear Body dysmorphia and how that affects people’s lives …

I want each of you to know I appreciate each and every one of you. My friends, this podcast is about you. If something I said resonated with you, I would love to hear about it. By following me you get to hear about me, my dreams, my goals. You get to know me, hear what I’m thinking and learning about. Well, I want to hear from you. I want to know what is going on for you. The ways you can tell me about what you are learning about and going through are: #1 you can talk with me on the Facebook Group or #2 set up a time to talk with me so you can tell me about who you are and what you want. #3 Sponsor some of the episodes that have made the biggest difference for you. #4 If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to this podcast and leave a rating and review. I would love to discuss how you can use these tools and others to get your amazing life!

How Obscene Movies and Pictures can Impact Mental Health

How Obscene Movies and Pictures can Impact Mental Health
Your Amazing Life
Your Amazing Life
How Obscene Movies and Pictures can Impact Mental Health
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Welcome to “Your Amazing Life” and thanks for being here. We discuss tools and tricks to create an Amazing Life in this blog. There are a few powerful ways you can support us. It would help if you subscribe to us and leave a rating/ review, in it leave your top takeaways from what we talked about, and also interact with the community on the Facebook page. Next, be a hero to your friends and family and share it with them… Lastly, sponsor it. Your support makes a massive difference. Check out the show notes for links to the subjects we discuss and if you have any topics, you would like me to address just put it in the private Facebook group. I want to give a couple shout outs first to Bogdon and to my Virginia tribe. They have jumped ahead by sharing these episodes with their friends and family. Let’s get into Your Amazing Life.

Porn affects people in many different ways. But some of the big problems are that it can replace real interaction with others, it can setup body dysmorphia and unrealistic ideas about sex. In over 85 studies they have linked poor mental and emotional health to porn use. These effects can range from brain fog to social anxiety, depression to flashbacks. Eating disorders are on the rise with young folks and cause more deaths than any other mental illness. This idea of idealized notions of body image are a huge problem and are fed from most marketing as well as adult pictures and movies. Porn use has been found to cause a noticeable reduction in grey matter in key areas of the brain. These are all found in research studies yet these studies do not get much attention in the media. Do you suffer and have trouble connecting with others?  Do you compare your appearance with how others look in marketing materials, entertainment, social media, and porn? There are so many ways this can affect you and those you love.

After Covid many people are lonelier than ever before. At the same time there has been a steep climb in depression, anxiety, and adult material. Pornhub a giant website has reported a 22% increase after covid hit. Lewd movies and pictures are what many look to as a form of connection and a way of coping with covid. But has it had the effect they were counting on? People who are often feeling greater levels of distress, anxiety, loneliness, or depression report a greater desire to seek out pornography. No one can argue that there is a great abundance of those emotions going around at this time. The release felt from the use of pornography and masturbation is likely to give a temporary relief from those emotions. Will it have large negative effects down the road? Well that maybe but we will be unable to view those effects in studies till we are farther out from the problem. Due to the digital age, we have the ability to be entertained and distracted more so now than at any other time in history. We have distractions that include porn that for some helps them forget in the short term how lonely they are.

Now whether porn causes the problem or if the problems were there first and mature material merely accentuates them is not something we will attack in this episode. I tend to believe it doesn’t matter which came first. What matters is the outcome. The outcome is definitive. Is your life what you want it to be? Do you feel like you are living up to your potential? Do you feel connected, happy, and complete? If you are not, is it tied to things you are viewing such as smutty material? The most important question is does what you are doing get you to where you want to be? 

I have talked with you about the importance of nutrition in many of our episodes. I have found a clinically proven product that I drink one packet a day and it gives my body all the micronutrients I need. This is an all-natural product you will love. The packet is filled with superfoods and all their nutrients. Best of all it comes with a 100% Money back guarantee, so there is no risk. Many doctors are now recommending this. Start your day like I do with a packet of nutrition. You are going to want to try this. Goto https://kengerber.kyani.com/ Then if you would like to become a business partner contact me. Join me in having Kyani each day to improve your health!

We have been discussing how obscene movies and pictures can impact mental health. We have talked about the many studies that have found adult material to affect mental health. The type of problems that are created with porn use body dysmorphia, reduced gray matter, depression, and anxiety. We then went over the increase in use during covid and the stress and lack of connection we are now feeling. Lastly, we pointed out that the outcome is more important than knowing the cause. It is important to make sure that you are getting what you want out of life. It is important that the things you have in your life are moving you in the direction you want to go. If not, that is the reason to change.

So, if the answer is that they can affect mental health, this means we have to look inside ourselves and see if it is affecting us the way we want. If not, one of the things to focus on is how do we gain the connection we want in these times? Have you ever thought I just wasn’t born with the ability to connect? The truth is we all have an innate hardwired ability to seek out a community. This ability to connect is what allows us to make it as a species. I’ll tell you what if not for my ability to create connections I would not be here today. I was difficult to deal with and argumentative as a teen. In fact, I told my dad at about 17years old “I know exactly how far I can take you until you will lose it, and I take you right up to that point and then drop you” If I had not created the connections, I had as a youth my dad would have killed me before I reached 18. This proves that I have the ability to create strong, deep, and precious relationships. 

Just because a strong connection is vital and natural does not mean that it is not difficult at times to create. Many people concentrate on communication. They feel if they are communicating their ideas then they are connecting. This is not actually the case, communication and connection are not the same. You can communicate with people and never connect. Think about a time when you were in a room filled completely with people you might have talked with a number of them and yet you felt alone. You know you can communicate without feeling connected. This is because connection is not an exchange of information but is an exchange of humanity and emotion. World-renowned speaker Sean Stephenson said “That’s when connection takes place: the moment we feel that somebody cares about us, we’re open to learning from them.” Is it possible to connect, to exchange humanity and emotion through X-rated content? Is the connection you feel you get from porn real or is it counterfeit? There are counterfeits to having a vital, strong and natural connection.

So how do we create these strong connections? How do we exchange our humanity and our emotions? There are a few simple steps to start. Number one: get and use people’s names. Your name is the sweetest sound to your ears. When we use people’s names, they will start to feel that connection. Use the names often in the conversation. You might think it will be weird but it will not. Number two: use eye contact. Look forks in the face, see them for who they are not for what you think they should be. Number 3: Ask them for their opinion. Taking their feedback and valuing their opinion even if it differs from yours is important. It is not important to agree with each other. It is important to accept and value the person that gives the opinion. Lastly; Number four: Give appropriate touch. This can change everything. A soft hand on another person’s shoulder or touching their forearm. Connection is a gift to each person involved. When you do it you will feel a positive change in your mind and body. It will change others as much as it changes you.

If you are tired of suffering, beating up on yourself, being lonely, tired of using counterfeit connections; If you want to struggle less and enjoy more. If you want a truly amazing life that is connected and complete, you need the “you have value program” If you are willing to make some changes, be kind to yourself, fail forward and continue to try, or stop chasing comfort. I would love to help you to create who you are actually capable of becoming.  Contact me, ken@creatingyouramazing.life.

“Next time you’ll hear Jacquelyn Phillips who will share about the abuse she suffered, the story that she adopted about it and how she changed that to feel connected and happier…

I want each of you to know I appreciate each and every one of you. My friends, this podcast is about you. If something I said resonated with you, I would love to hear about it. By following me you get to hear about me, my dreams, my goals. You get to know me, hear what I’m thinking and learning about. Well, I want to hear from you. I want to know what is going on for you. The ways you can tell me about what you are learning about and going through are: #1 you can talk with me on the Facebook Group or #2 set up a time to talk with me so you can tell me about who you are and what you want. #3 Sponsor some of the episodes that have made the biggest difference for you. #4 If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to this podcast and leave a rating and review. I would love to discuss how you can use these tools and others to get your amazing life!