So What do you Fear and What do you Desire?

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Welcome to “Your Amazing Life” and thanks for being here. We discuss tools and tricks to create an Amazing Life in this blog. There are a few powerful ways you can support us. It would help if you subscribe to us and leave a rating/ review, in it leave your top takeaways from what we talked about, and also interact with the community on the Facebook page. Next, be a hero to your friends and family and share it with them… Lastly, sponsor it. Your support makes a massive difference. Check out the show notes for links to the subjects we discuss and if you have any topics, you would like me to address just put them in the private Facebook group. I want to thank you, my followers, for being here and sharing this blog with your friends and family. Now, Let’s get into Your Amazing Life.

There is the story of a man with a very stubborn mule who needed to get the mule to move. The mule was content to be where he was and didn’t want to put n the effort to walk and pull the man’s cart. So they sat there, neither got what they wanted. But then the man had an idea. He went a got a long stick string and a favorite treat of the mule. He tied the carrot to the stick and dangled it out just in front of the mule. The mule moved to get to the carrot. Then the mule went wherever the man led him with the carrot. There are many carrots in my life, and if you look closely you will find them in your life also. Maybe you get them from work where if you hit a certain number you get a bonus, party, or meal. The number could be for many things number of days without injuries, the number of sales. In fact, getting a job is a carrot and stick. You met this person they offered you cash if you would come in and do certain things and be present between certain hours and on certain days. Sometimes they offer 1.5 percent of the agreed-upon amount if you come in more than the agreed-upon time. Money is a carrot. It is often used to motivate. If you didn’t get paid would you still go to work? If the answer is no, then it is a motivation that is working. This carrot stick is often a part of relationships in addition to work. If your spouse does something you like you reward them. This is very often a part of parent-child relationships. They do their chore they get a popsicle. This is a viable way of changing behavior. It has been around forever because it works to a certain extent.

But there are a few requirements to get it to work, The carrot has to be something that means enough to the person for them to do it. If your boss said they wanted you to come in and work and you would be paid $1.00 that probably would not motivate you to come in. If you told your child you wanted them to spend an hour in the sun weeding for that popsicle they might not do it. Some of the information on the web states that this is a poor way of motivating others. Well, I’m not sure I agree with that analysis. I will agree that there are other ways and some of them are more productive. I will also agree that it works better in some relationships than in others. But there is a reason this has been around and is widely used. Everyone who has a job and gets paid for it likes this type of motivation. Money is used as a carrot so often that it can be overdone right. Money is an easy thing to come up with and it motivates so many people. In fact, it is usually about what number of bills motivates them, not a question of will they be motivated by it. Any other motivation takes a lot more personal knowledge of the person and their likes and dislikes. Plus it has to be individualized. Here are a couple of examples of ways people can be motivated; by things like gifts, or maybe words of affirmation, then some by relationships. Getting real with ourselves and seeing that we are motivated by money and knowing how much it takes to motivate us is the first step. We will be able to motivate ourselves better by understanding how we are motivated. We will understand why we are where we are and be able to make more changes by having a better handle on why money motivates us.

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So today we are talking about how we are motivated and why the carrot and the stick method is used so often. We talked about how a job is the basic in the carrot and the stick motivation. The carrot is money and the stick is the lack of food, shelter, and other desires. We talked about how the carrot needs to be something that the person wants in order to get them to perform the task that we want them to perform. We talked about how pervasive this kind of motivation is in our society and how it exists and works on all people. We showed that money is the easiest to use and commonplace carrot.

So I hope we now agree, you are motivated by money. You show up at a business listen to what others want, produce what they asked, and then you receive nothing more than a few sheets of high-quality paper with some ink on it, for doing so. If you do a good job then they dangle the possibility in front of you that they will give you more sheets of paper  Maybe they will give you more responsibility and work and then you get more sheets of paper. I have been sucked into this belief time and again. Have you ever had the thought,” if I just got paid more my life would be better?” One of the first times I had that was 30 years ago. Guess what I make more now than I did then. But it is not the making more that made the difference because each time I made more I spent more. It kept me just above broke most of the time. Besides the fact that there is scientific data that even if people decided how much they would earn they would not enjoy their job more. I mean look at your life. When you first got a job compare it with now, do you make more now? How much of that goes out to expenses and debts? Is it 40, 60, 80%, or more? How much money do you have leftover at the end of the month? Maybe you have month leftover at the end of the money. So why is it that we accept that money is a carrot? 

Why do we allow money to be a motivating factor? The first one we already mentioned is it is easy to do. Most of us have fear of the stick (homeless) and a desire for the carrot (things money will buy). Another reason is that we don’t know what other likes and dislikes we have. According to the numbers, there is no correlation between personal engagement and salary. People making $500,000s per year dislike their jobs as much as those making $24,000. Do you know what you are good at? How much do you know about your interest and skills? Do you see the personal work that goes into finding other motivating factors? Those that do the work find more happiness and success. If you are intrinsically motivated by your job you will perform better. Money does motivate, but the problem is it only moves us so far. It gets you to show up. It gets you through what is required. But it doesn’t get you to enjoy it. It doesn’t get you to learn, or to become. Once you have the needs for you and your family met the psychological benefits of money drop. Arnold Schwarzenegger said it best “Money doesn’t make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million.” Money is nothing more than a concept or symbol to facilitate trade. We as people project our own attitudes and tendencies towards it. We project definitions onto it. To understand the meaning of money in your life you must discern what definitions and attitudes you carry towards money. Learn why it is a carrot and why the number of carrots in the bunch is the motivation needed to move. Then start to learn what else motivates you intrinsically. What do you love? How do you value money? Learning these things about you will give you vision, into what makes you happy and motivates you. It will give you freedom and power in your life. 

It is your personality, your thought process, knowing who you are and what your skills and abilities are that will affect your happiness. Stop looking for money to do what only you can. Realize money for what it is a concept to facilitate trade. See it as the illusion it is just the tool used to exchange goods and services. It has no intrinsic value. It is a value based on the illusion, Its value is based on trust. We don’t have the same trust in money that we did 50 years ago. At that time we money was worth more. There was less inflation. The more the masses make the less it is worth. Our buying power has gone down. This is due to a lack of trust in money. Because we have decided that income is the carrot and have less vision about what motivates and makes us happy we put less stock in the worth of the money we are bringing into make us happy.

So maybe you are tired of suffering, tired of beating up on yourself, and overreacting, tired of doing it over and over again; Maybe you want to struggle less and enjoy more. If you want a truly amazing life that is connected and complete, then you need the “You Have Value” program.  Very few people are accepted but let’s talk and find out if this is a fit for you!.  Contact me, @ ken@creatingyouramazing.life or 801-449-0750.

“Next time you’ll hear the interview with Beth Crosby about learning to write and the importance of your story …

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