Welcome to “Your Amazing Life” and thanks for being here. We discuss tools and tricks to create an Amazing Life in this blog. There are a few powerful ways you can support us. It would help if you subscribe to us and leave a rating/ review, in it leave your top takeaways from what we talked about, and also interact with the community on the Facebook page. Next, be a hero to your friends and family and share it with them… Lastly, sponsor it. Your support makes a massive difference. Check out the show notes for links to the subjects we discuss and if you have any topics, you would like me to address just put them in the private Facebook group. I want to give a couple of shout-outs first to my listener Mia and to my Georgia tribe. I appreciate them, growing and sharing the podcast with their friends and family. Let’s get into Your Amazing Life.
We are going to listen to a few moments from different shows today. We will start with
Christopher Salem: He was given a year and a half to live. He ended up dying 4 months into his diagnosis. I remember the day before he died. I remember him looking over at me and he couldn’t talk but his eyes were somewhat open. It was like he wasn’t really there. But yet in a way, he was it was just in a different way. It was like him communicating to me saying listen. I apologize I wasn’t the dad that you were looking for or expected. I did my best; I could only give what I knew. For some reason, it hit me in a way that I never imagined. I never thought of it that way, I just thought my dad didn’t have any interest hang around with me and my brother and that he was just more selfish and caught up in things that were important to him. I didn’t realize that the same thing happened to him growing up. He was kind of neglected by his own father and he was just repeating what he knew. It wasn’t like he didn’t care or didn’t love us he didn’t know how to. As a result of that, I didn’t know this Verbatim, what I’m telling you right now. Just on some level I kind of had this idea at that point and that was a pivotal moment for me. I said to myself that I was not going to be the victim of life and business. I was going to take ownership of whatever I could control. I was going to find a way to get overcome these behavioral patterns and these ways that got me into trouble with other people, with jobs, in ventures, and things that were just going on at the time. As a result of that, I didn’t know how it was going to do it, but I made a commitment that I was going to find a way to do it, and that’s what ended up happening. I ended up finding a process that allowed me to get at the root cause of my troubles, To get to my issues, which were limiting beliefs. I had this great need for validation, which was a result of again not having my father present. I was seeking this out in my father and would seek out situations in work, in business, with girlfriends, everyday life to fill that need for validation. So that led to years of passive-aggressive behavior, communication codependency, and that just led to more or less; fueling that anger that I experienced each and every day. When I was able to get to the root cause of that and realize it was my dad, I began to release it over time and then forgive myself, most importantly. I began to incorporate healthier habits, disciplines that begin to fill that space, that need for validation once occupied.
Jacquelyn Phillips: A happy person that was buried in there, who had been wanting to break out all along but didn’t know-how. Today I share my story, I do my best to help others, make help seem more easily attainable and more dignified.
Ken: Okay great What was the most uncomfortable or difficult change that you had to make?
Jacquelyn Phillips: The most painful was having to become clean. I was really good at lying and you can only lie for so long, eventually, you get caught up in it. So, breaking the habit of lying and not embellishing that was really hard to do. As far as the most uncomfortable it was falling in love with myself. Because for the longest time it felt really hokey. I would say “I love myself” but that just sounds really dumb. But you have to! You have to love the person that you are. Because if you, don’t you can’t love anything else fully because you are holding back. Life is much more freeing if you have love in your heart! Especially if you aim that love at things.
Ken: Yeah, I mean because the lie that we are telling ourselves is that we are not loveable Right!
Jacquelyn Phillips: Absolutely, I’m not lovable, I’m a broken toy, I’m damaged goods, nobody wants me, nobody likes me. I had built this Persona that I thought people liked, it was exhausting and it wasn’t authentic. It turns out nobody really enjoyed it anyway.
Kim Knavel: I can dig myself out if I wake up and I feel terrible, I can change that. I have the skills to change that, I just have to slow down and step back, and before I couldn’t do that. but yeah, I use the “you have value” program at least 2 or 3 times per week.
Ken: Great I’m glad to hear that, all right so what is the difference that the “you have value” program has had on your life?
Kim Knavel: I used to always say my depression was like a spiral staircase and it just takes you down and you don’t know you’re there till you hit the bottom. I can now catch when I’m slipping. Sometimes I have to sit “with” the depression for a couple of days while I’m doing my meditations or my affirmations and things like that. But I don’t have to sit “in” my depression and that is a huge change. So, I can still function during the depression. Maybe I’m not like telling jokes 24/7. But I can still function through it because I have these other processes that remind me that I can make it through. That’s really, that (sobs) …
Ken: That’s great, Yeah, what’s coming up?
Kim Knavel: It’s… I used to not think there was anything I could do about the way I felt. I would get depressed, sometimes it was situational sometimes it wasn’t. I do have clinical depression also and when it was situational… I couldn’t make it go away, when it was just because I was depressed, I couldn’t make it go away. I always felt like everything else was controlling me. The people around me, my emotions, everything. I like not… I like not being controlled. I like being able to say “I can sit with you for a few days and I can look at these depressive feelings and I can see where they’re coming from.” I don’t have to judge them and they can make me sad for a minute but I’m not going to be buried in them.
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Today we are listening to parts of interviews from over the past year. We heard from Chris Salem about overcoming the need for validation. We heard from Jacquelyn Phillips about learning we are lovable. Then we heard from Kim Knavel about how she overcomes her depression. So, let’s get back into it.
Rich Cardone: I believe work-life balance is a complete myth. I believe it the state of mind because you can’t achieve it. It is not a destination, you can achieve, it’s just a state of mind. you either feel bad that you’re giving work your all; or that when you’re with your family you’re giving your family our all, or whatever that may be. But it is not something that you can achieve, so you know the key to having an amazing life is balance. I get up very, very early each day at 4:01 and I either do some reading or go straight into some emails and just you know get the admin work out of the way the stuff I won’t want to do once the day really, really starts, or more often than not, I am going to take care of myself physically. Doing these things for me that’s incredible balancing for me because they are not income-producing activities, right like and you know. So, there’s family and then there’s work and then you. You are talking to someone that hardly read up until a couple of months ago. Now I am reading at least 10 pages a day no matter what. Sometimes 10 turns into 15 and sometimes if the book is really good, I pick it back up at night until I start falling asleep. Then I’m like, wow I actually ended up doing 30 today. That’s balanced for me. The physical part is also balancing for me, it is one of the only things you can’t delegate or have someone else do. You can’t have someone take a shower for you and you can’t have someone do cardio for you. But you can have someone mow the lawn for you if you want, you can have someone creating content for you, or if you want you can have someone edit a podcast for you. But you cannot outsource your health. So, it comes to balance that to me is a key to an amazing life. and then the other thing is and look you know the question is what do you need to do for an amazing life. Well look I don’t even know if I have an amazing life yet because I’m always asking myself is “my head where my feet are” meaning if I’m hanging out with my daughter on the playground is my head there, or am I thinking of all these business ideas and who I owe what or anything like that. So that kind of present, just like we talked about earlier was Vision its Progressive uncovering right. I will get better because I care about balance and because I care about balance I care about self-improvement. I don’t like to let things linger that aren’t actually bringing value to my life. I think if you have a good radar for where you need to improve and where you need to be able to sit with yourself and to sit comfortably. That is what’s going to give you an amazing life.
Ken: Okay, awesome you said you had listened to my podcast so you might have heard this question that I asked all my guests. If there were three ideas that you could leave this world and your posterity what 3 ideas would you leave them so that they can have an amazing life?
Isabel Chiara: Number one would to really look at your life as it happened for you! Anything that happened in your life happened because we all have those stories that are sitting in our brain just keeps going over them. Maybe it was what we consider a failure, it could have been the worst thing that ever happened to us. But it happened so there is something about that thing that happened. Maybe it happened to move us in another direction. I always think that life happening for me right now. The second part of that is, that we don’t know the rest of the story, right? But I always take myself out of this, I don’t say “Oh my God this is not working for me” or “why did this happen.” I go right to I don’t know the rest of the story, it’s bigger than me like the universe brought me here for a reason. Maybe I’m supposed to meet somebody, maybe I’m not supposed to get on that plane, maybe this is the end of this relationship but a better relationship is coming. Okay, so that’s number 2. Then Number 3 is we get to love ourselves for every single thing that we do. Anything we’re doing we get to use the words like in my book Eat your Words” we get to say I love myself in that and if we could feel that. You know we can say it but if we can feel that love for ourselves in every instance the world in front of us would begin to expand and things would get magnetized to us.
Justin Springer: We always, as hard times come, we feel like we must be going the wrong way you know. I know we talked about a lot, I’m sure you do with mindset, With like “flow states” and all that stuff. That could be another discussion, but what I think is sometimes the hardship is we need to embrace a little bit more. Cuz that’s where the lesson is found. I’m with you right I probably heard that before, a long time ago, but it didn’t really resonate. But now I can see it, that sometimes it’s just like all, I kept going and now I learned what it takes. Okay great so now I can apply it. You know it’s kind of one of those things we don’t get too we are a little bit older, anyway.
Ken: Awesome so now let’s go if you could leave 3 things for this world what three things would you leave?
Justin: I know this is kind of maybe basic stuff but it really does mean a lot to me. But number one you know if I could do anything for my kids It would be to go after your dreams of course. Right, I know we hear that a lot, but it’s so true. Really just go for it, you know me what’s the worst thing that’s going to happen. Gary Vaynerchuk, a lady ran up to him while he was in a cab and asked him to give her three words of motivation or something. His answer was “you’re going to die” right. It was a joke but it means a lot. It is serious, go for your dreams. Number 2 is to have self-confidence, I couldn’t believe how much that was a thing like, you have to be your biggest fan or your biggest cheerleader. Really if you look back at the people that are like millionaires or are successful, or whatever you deem success to be. You’ll notice that maybe they didn’t look the prettiest, maybe they weren’t the smartest, maybe whatever it is; but they all believed in themselves and whatever they were doing. Whatever they were doing at that time to achieve that goal, they believed in it wholeheartedly. You could not shake those people and so that was one thing that I learned, that I had to do. I have to build my self-confidence up so I would like to leave that with people too. The third thing, I think and it goes back to what we just kind of talked about. Your habits are everything, your actions, right. You have to become this person of value with yourself. Because the moment that you stop being that person and you give in like they say you know, “how you do anything is how you do everything” right. The moment you become that person you will fail at everything. So really, just go with your habits, make sure you have good habits, especially with some people like with kids. I try to do that with my daughter instill good habits that way it’s going to serve her later on in life.
If you are tired of suffering or of beating up on yourself, tired of not feeling like yourself If you want to struggle less and enjoy more. If you want a truly amazing life that is connected and complete. Then you need the “you have value” program. If you are willing to make some changes, be kind to yourself. I would love to help you to create who you are capable of becoming. Contact me, firstname.lastname@example.org.
“Next time you’ll hear about the amazing experiences of the Velvet Revolution and the ideas behind it…
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