Welcome to “Your Amazing Life” and thanks for being here. We discuss tools and tricks to create an Amazing Life in this blog. There are a few powerful ways you can support us. It would help if you subscribe to us and leave a rating/ review, in it, leave your top takeaways, and also interact with the community on the Facebook page. Next, be a hero to your friends and family and share it with them… Lastly, sponsor it. Your support makes a massive difference. Check out the show notes for links to the subjects we discuss and if you have any topics, you would like me to address just put them in the private Facebook group. I want to give a couple shout outs first to my follower Oliver and to my Washington tribe they still lead the pack. I appreciate them, growing and sharing the podcast with their friends and family. Let’s get into Your Amazing Life.
So yesterday was my 29th wedding anniversary. It looks like the number of those who are married for that long is in the 20% range. Now getting to this place was not easy. There have been multiple times my wife and I have discussed divorce. There were times when we hurt each other and times when we felt this isn’t what we signed up for. Over the years we have had fights, communication problems and arguments. We have at times lacked commitment. There has been distance and lack of physical intimacy in our relationship at times. Guess what in the 29 years both Eve and I have found that there are other people on this earth that we are attracted to. None of these things were abnormal for us and maybe not for you. None of these things stopped us from being married! Each time we hit a speed bump and talked about separating and didn’t as we worked on the relationship it deepened and became richer. It took us both to make changes and strengthen our marriage and keep it together for the last 29 years.
But the fact is I love her more today than the day I married her. I love everything about her! I love her support, her caring, I love how beautiful she is. I love all our memories. I love that she sees more in me than I sometimes see in myself. Each moment I get to spend with her is a joy. There is no one I would rather be with! There is no one out there that would be a better fit. The simple fact is there is no way to trade up. Evelyn is such a perfect fit for me. We love so many of the same things. But the thing is everything I have mentioned here is a choice. We both get to choose how we look at each other. I look at her as the most beautiful bride because it makes her and I happy to do so. I choose not to put any expectations on her and appreciate her for the many incredible things she does. Having a bunch of unmet expectations has made both of us unhappy when we did it. It is so great to be so understood and accepted by someone. But that has come with time.
To create a healthy relationship there needs to be boundaries. In episode 223 about how we talked about setting up rules on how we wanted to be treated has been part of our relationship. We started setting them up when we were dating and we have renegotiated them as we have changed. But the most important thing is that we are following the rules that we set up. Boundaries help you and your partner to feel loved and accepted. They tell others what makes it so that you can feel appreciated. Boundaries are for the protection of all involved. They can be set for physical, emotional, sexual, Intellectual, and financial needs. You are qualified to set up borders for each of these types of needs. Boundaries have helped our relationship extensively. In setting up these boundaries’ communication is key. You must share with your partner what is and isn’t okay. If you are not sure what your boundaries are or if you are unable to communicate it clearly then it is next to impossible to have your needs met. It is important to set up and follow ground rules to have a healthy relationship.
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Today we are talking about my 29th wedding anniversary with Evelyn. We talked about how much I love and appreciate her. There is no one in the world that is a better fit for me than this beautiful woman. She is the most amazing person and I love each minute with her. Then we talked about how relationships need boundaries and what types of boundaries they are. In order to have a great relationship you need to have well defined boundaries and be able to communicate them clearly.
Talking about building an amazing relationship. What else besides boundaries are needed? The first thing that must happen is you must accept your partner as they are. There is nothing I want Evelyn to change because of me. She is perfect for me just the way she is. This is one of the things I choose. I choose to accept her and want her the way she is or the way she chooses to be. It is not that this is always easy, sometimes I have to check my expectations. My unmet expectations destroy whatever part of my life that I have the expectations about. So I then choose to let go of expectations and accept Evelyn as she is. Accepting her also means loving and supporting her in her ways and beliefs. I am so grateful that she does this for me. Because of her acceptance there is no need of nagging because of her acceptance of who I am.
One of the things we learned at around 11 years of marriage, this was during a difficult point in our marriage, was to express appreciation often. This saved our marriage at this point in time. What it does is help you to see each other’s helpfulness. It helps you to assign value to their contribution. They strengthen romantic connections. It makes people happier. Signs that you need to work on helping your partner feel appreciated may be that they don’t share their opinion. They are quieter than they had been. They make plans without consulting you. They appear more distant. These things all show that your marriage is lacking appreciation in one another. You can control only yourself, so choose to act differently. Start to show appreciation for your partner.
I want to tell the world as well as my beautiful bride how wonderful she is and how much I appreciate her. These 29 years have been a roller coaster ride. Where we have crawled up hills slowly and steadily. As we have peered over the edge at the top it has brought excitement and some fear. We have plummeted down the hills. Turned this way and that not always knowing which way the ride would go next. There have been times as it went up and down that some people might have lost their lunch. Some maybe would have gotten off the ride. There are times it went upside down. Many people would have put one hand on their mouth and another up in the air to get the attendant to stop the ride. I am so grateful that I did not! I would not change even one min with Evelyn for anyone else. I love how talented Evelyn is at so many things. I love that people come to her to talk. She is a leader of people even though she doesn’t want to be one at work. I love how she makes our house feel comfortable and look beautiful. I “so” love how she looks at me. I am so grateful that she continues to pick me day in and day out. For those of you who don’t know my beautiful bride you are missing out. She is so incredible!
If you are tired of suffering, if you want a better relationship, if you want to feel more acceptance and love in your life. If you want a truly amazing life that is connected and complete, you need the “You Have Value” program. If you are willing to make some changes, be kind to yourself. I would love to help you to create who you are capable of becoming. Contact me, 801-449-0750.
“Next time we’ll talk about…do you fight wrong?
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