Welcome to “Your Amazing Life” and thanks for being here. We discuss tools and tricks to create an Amazing Life in this blog. There are a few powerful ways you can support us. It would help if you subscribe to us and leave a rating/ review, in it leave your top takeaways from what we talked about, and also interact with the community on the Facebook page. Next, be a hero to your friends and family and share it with them… Lastly, sponsor it. Your support makes a massive difference. Check out the show notes for links to the subjects we discuss and if you have any topics, you would like me to address just put it in the private Facebook group. I want to give a couple shout outs first to Bogdon and to my Virginia tribe. They have jumped ahead by sharing these episodes with their friends and family. Let’s get into Your Amazing Life.
Porn affects people in many different ways. But some of the big problems are that it can replace real interaction with others, it can setup body dysmorphia and unrealistic ideas about sex. In over 85 studies they have linked poor mental and emotional health to porn use. These effects can range from brain fog to social anxiety, depression to flashbacks. Eating disorders are on the rise with young folks and cause more deaths than any other mental illness. This idea of idealized notions of body image are a huge problem and are fed from most marketing as well as adult pictures and movies. Porn use has been found to cause a noticeable reduction in grey matter in key areas of the brain. These are all found in research studies yet these studies do not get much attention in the media. Do you suffer and have trouble connecting with others? Do you compare your appearance with how others look in marketing materials, entertainment, social media, and porn? There are so many ways this can affect you and those you love.
After Covid many people are lonelier than ever before. At the same time there has been a steep climb in depression, anxiety, and adult material. Pornhub a giant website has reported a 22% increase after covid hit. Lewd movies and pictures are what many look to as a form of connection and a way of coping with covid. But has it had the effect they were counting on? People who are often feeling greater levels of distress, anxiety, loneliness, or depression report a greater desire to seek out pornography. No one can argue that there is a great abundance of those emotions going around at this time. The release felt from the use of pornography and masturbation is likely to give a temporary relief from those emotions. Will it have large negative effects down the road? Well that maybe but we will be unable to view those effects in studies till we are farther out from the problem. Due to the digital age, we have the ability to be entertained and distracted more so now than at any other time in history. We have distractions that include porn that for some helps them forget in the short term how lonely they are.
Now whether porn causes the problem or if the problems were there first and mature material merely accentuates them is not something we will attack in this episode. I tend to believe it doesn’t matter which came first. What matters is the outcome. The outcome is definitive. Is your life what you want it to be? Do you feel like you are living up to your potential? Do you feel connected, happy, and complete? If you are not, is it tied to things you are viewing such as smutty material? The most important question is does what you are doing get you to where you want to be?
I have talked with you about the importance of nutrition in many of our episodes. I have found a clinically proven product that I drink one packet a day and it gives my body all the micronutrients I need. This is an all-natural product you will love. The packet is filled with superfoods and all their nutrients. Best of all it comes with a 100% Money back guarantee, so there is no risk. Many doctors are now recommending this. Start your day like I do with a packet of nutrition. You are going to want to try this. Goto https://kengerber.kyani.com/ Then if you would like to become a business partner contact me. Join me in having Kyani each day to improve your health!
We have been discussing how obscene movies and pictures can impact mental health. We have talked about the many studies that have found adult material to affect mental health. The type of problems that are created with porn use body dysmorphia, reduced gray matter, depression, and anxiety. We then went over the increase in use during covid and the stress and lack of connection we are now feeling. Lastly, we pointed out that the outcome is more important than knowing the cause. It is important to make sure that you are getting what you want out of life. It is important that the things you have in your life are moving you in the direction you want to go. If not, that is the reason to change.
So, if the answer is that they can affect mental health, this means we have to look inside ourselves and see if it is affecting us the way we want. If not, one of the things to focus on is how do we gain the connection we want in these times? Have you ever thought I just wasn’t born with the ability to connect? The truth is we all have an innate hardwired ability to seek out a community. This ability to connect is what allows us to make it as a species. I’ll tell you what if not for my ability to create connections I would not be here today. I was difficult to deal with and argumentative as a teen. In fact, I told my dad at about 17years old “I know exactly how far I can take you until you will lose it, and I take you right up to that point and then drop you” If I had not created the connections, I had as a youth my dad would have killed me before I reached 18. This proves that I have the ability to create strong, deep, and precious relationships.
Just because a strong connection is vital and natural does not mean that it is not difficult at times to create. Many people concentrate on communication. They feel if they are communicating their ideas then they are connecting. This is not actually the case, communication and connection are not the same. You can communicate with people and never connect. Think about a time when you were in a room filled completely with people you might have talked with a number of them and yet you felt alone. You know you can communicate without feeling connected. This is because connection is not an exchange of information but is an exchange of humanity and emotion. World-renowned speaker Sean Stephenson said “That’s when connection takes place: the moment we feel that somebody cares about us, we’re open to learning from them.” Is it possible to connect, to exchange humanity and emotion through X-rated content? Is the connection you feel you get from porn real or is it counterfeit? There are counterfeits to having a vital, strong and natural connection.
So how do we create these strong connections? How do we exchange our humanity and our emotions? There are a few simple steps to start. Number one: get and use people’s names. Your name is the sweetest sound to your ears. When we use people’s names, they will start to feel that connection. Use the names often in the conversation. You might think it will be weird but it will not. Number two: use eye contact. Look forks in the face, see them for who they are not for what you think they should be. Number 3: Ask them for their opinion. Taking their feedback and valuing their opinion even if it differs from yours is important. It is not important to agree with each other. It is important to accept and value the person that gives the opinion. Lastly; Number four: Give appropriate touch. This can change everything. A soft hand on another person’s shoulder or touching their forearm. Connection is a gift to each person involved. When you do it you will feel a positive change in your mind and body. It will change others as much as it changes you.
If you are tired of suffering, beating up on yourself, being lonely, tired of using counterfeit connections; If you want to struggle less and enjoy more. If you want a truly amazing life that is connected and complete, you need the “you have value program” If you are willing to make some changes, be kind to yourself, fail forward and continue to try, or stop chasing comfort. I would love to help you to create who you are actually capable of becoming. Contact me, firstname.lastname@example.org.
“Next time you’ll hear Jacquelyn Phillips who will share about the abuse she suffered, the story that she adopted about it and how she changed that to feel connected and happier…
I want each of you to know I appreciate each and every one of you. My friends, this podcast is about you. If something I said resonated with you, I would love to hear about it. By following me you get to hear about me, my dreams, my goals. You get to know me, hear what I’m thinking and learning about. Well, I want to hear from you. I want to know what is going on for you. The ways you can tell me about what you are learning about and going through are: #1 you can talk with me on the Facebook Group or #2 set up a time to talk with me so you can tell me about who you are and what you want. #3 Sponsor some of the episodes that have made the biggest difference for you. #4 If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to this podcast and leave a rating and review. I would love to discuss how you can use these tools and others to get your amazing life!