Welcome to “Your Amazing Life” and thanks for being here. We discuss tools and tricks to create an Amazing Life in this blog. There are a few powerful ways you can support us. It would help if you subscribe to us and leave a rating/ review, in it leave your top takeaways from what we talked about, and also interact with the community on the Facebook page. Next, be a hero to your friends and family and share it with them… Lastly, sponsor it. Your support makes a massive difference. Check out the show notes for links to the subjects we discuss and if you have any topics, you would like me to address just put it in the private Facebook group. I want to give a couple shout outs first to Aaron and to my Washington listeners. I appreciate them, growing and sharing the podcast with their friends and family. It makes things better for me. Let’s get into Your Amazing Life.
I’m betting a few of you also deal with this. For me it gets this way sometimes. I think oh it isn’t working or I can’t do it. Those and a host of other negative thoughts start in on me. They crash through my consciousness through all my waking moments, they overpower my rationale. Right now, this has been affecting me. I have not felt like writing and producing the podcast. Has the podcast changed? Has my ability to write changed? No of course not. There has been nothing that has changed my ability. No, The problem has come from my expectations. I have been dreaming of different experiences. I want more or different outcomes from those that I am receiving. Well, will quitting get me the outcomes I want? No of course not. But how many of you think rationally about things when your expectations aren’t being met? Come on there has to be one or two of you out there that have experienced this.
So why is it that we feel this way? Let’s look into why failure is scary. Well, what are the emotional consequences we have tied to failure? Maybe they are a reflection of our abilities and our self-worth? I mean ME tie my Income into my Self Worth, No way right.? We don’t do that. Remember when we talked about Sarah Blakley in episode 165. I don’t know about you but I have not been celebrating my failure this last week. But how many times can I fail before it is time to quit is the question. If a dream is not materializing at, what point do you decide to give up rather than to keep fighting? Which is harder to keep going or to quit? My life it has always been easier to quit. It doesn’t matter how many hours I have invested. It is difficult to keep going when the investment you make doesn’t equal the outcome you expect.
Does it matter what you are quitting? What if it is a job that pays good money, or dropping out of college and entering the job market, what about a relationship that provides security and stability? What do you do? Is it easier to quit or to keep going? How do you react to quitting? Do you look at that as failure? Do you see failure as representing strength? Do you see failure as a bitter pill? How do you feel towards those that experience failure? My wife and I love to go to the hockey games. It is always fun. I heard that being a goalie is very difficult. “What if every mistake you made was followed by a loud horn and a red-light flashing.” If you saw letting a puck through as failure. That could mess with you right. But how many of us are telling a similar story? If I convert one out of ten sales calls, or I give a presentation that is not accepted. If I reach out to a person and they reject me? The horn and red flashing light are going off in our heads, right? It doesn’t matter what we are failing at. Our emotional wellbeing is often affected and sometimes we think it will just be easier to give up.
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Today we have been talking about giving up on your dreams. I told you how I have wanted to give up. Many of you have gone through something similar where your expectations aren’t met so you want to give up and quit. Many of us see it as a failure and many of us have a loud horn and red light flashing each time, we think we fail. I know that Edison failed thousands of times over many years. That rational thought doesn’t keep me going when my emotions are screaming you are going to look like a fool for keeping this up.
How do we celebrate the experience whether the expectation is met or not? If we celebrate the experience instead of the win, we can change the influence of our performance. For us stuck in this program we are feeling the performance = worth. Maybe you were told that like I was my expectations are about the performance that I make. I also have expectations about my worth. I hit myself with a double whammy. I have these expectations on both sides of worth and performance. These expectations are what limit my belief and confidence. I expect that I am worth so much to so many people. That is where I stay in that expectation. I am worth this job or this relationship. I am worth being treated in this way. We can experience things based on our expectations.
Here again we can change our view. We can change our view of our failures. We can put new meaning to them. Our failures can just be experiences that give us feedback on things that need tweaking. We, like Edison, can say “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Is your current view of failure working for you? Does it get you what you want? If not, maybe you also need to change your view and to adopt Sarah Blakley or Thomas Edison’s view of failure. Look at “failure” or life’s “disasters” as another way that doesn’t work so find an alternative path. Those who are successful are able to reframe their “failures.” They move forward and find a different way to get to the goal. If you are driving from New York to California There are many ways that can get you to your destination. If there is a storm and the road you are on is closed and flooded or under construction. You could stop and bemoan the fact that you are stuck or you can turn and drive one way or the other till you get to the next open road. This will get you to your destination. The trip might take more time. It might include quite a bit of changing directions. Maybe you even have to backtrack. But you don’t have to be stopped. Just like in driving you have the ability to direct your trip to check the map and find if there are other roads whether highways or side roads that will get you to your destination. You have the ability to change the story you tell yourself about your route.
If you are tired of suffering, tired of your story of failure, maybe your story causes you to overreact, and you do these over and over again; If you want to change your story and quit feeling like you have failed and enjoy life more. If you want a truly amazing life that is connected and complete, you need the “you have value program” If you are willing to make some changes, change your definition of failure and stop chasing comfort. I would love to help you to create who you are actually capable of becoming. Contact me, 801-449-0750.
“Next time you’ll hear How to Step Up When Times are Tough…
I want each of you to know I appreciate each and every one of you. I’m grateful for your friendship. You mean a lot to me. I know you have overcome some really tough things to get here. Like I said at the beginning there are a few things you can do to help, YAL If this message has been helpful today, please share it with a friend or family member who may need to hear it. Or sponsor it. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to this blog and leave a rating and review. Also join the Facebook Group or if you need to get yourself aligned to get your goals and dreams, contact me. Let’s get you the amazing life you want! Set up a time to talk with me so we can discuss how you can use these tools and others to get your amazing life!