Welcome to “Your Amazing Life” and thanks for being here. We discuss tools and tricks to create an Amazing Life in this blog. There are a few powerful ways you can support us. It would help if you subscribe to us and leave a rating/ review, in it leave your top takeaways from what we talked about, also interact with the community on the Facebook page. Next, be a hero to your friends and family and share it with them… Lastly, sponsor it. Your support makes a massive difference. Check out the show notes for links to the subjects we discuss and if you have any topics, you would like me to address just put it in the private Facebook group. I want to give a shout out to my Ohio Listeners. For sharing it with their friends and family. Let’s get into Your Amazing Life.
We have Christopher Salem, today and I am so excited about this. Christopher is an Executive Coach, Corporate Trainer, Amazing Keynote speaker, Radio show host, and an international best seller award winning writer. Welcome to the Show Christopher! What was it that happened that started this journey for you?
This goes back 22 years ago roughly almost 22 years ago today. I had a life-changing moment that happened between myself and my father. You know prior to that my life was really out of control, my business was up and down. I lived in the effect of the issues I was dealing with. I was constantly in fight or flight mode. I had struggled 12 years from addiction, at the time. I just thought I was just dealt the wrong deck of cards and that’s how I felt. I was a victim of life and I didn’t really understand how to go about and navigate. I did know I grew up codependently in a dysfunctional home. I just knew my life wasn’t working out. what I knew now all of this is in hindsight I didn’t know what was going on other than my life wasn’t working out. I was struggling with 12 years of addiction to alcohol, sex, and drugs, as a result of that this life changing event was my father had been diagnosed with cancer and he was given a year-and-a-half to live. He ended up dying 4 months into his diagnosis. I remember the day before he died, I remember him looking over at me but he couldn’t talk. His eyes were somewhat open but it was like he was really there. Yet in a way he was, it was just in a different way. It was like him communicating to me. Saying listen I apologize; I wasn’t the dad that you were looking for or expected. I did the best I could, I only could give what I knew, and that for some reason hit me in a way that I never imagined. I just thought my dad had no interest in hanging around with me and my brother and that he was just selfish and caught up in things that were important to him. I didn’t realize that the same thing happened to him growing up. He was just repeating the same thing that he knew it wasn’t like he didn’t care or didn’t love us. I didn’t know how to end this; I didn’t even know this verbatim. What I’m telling you right now is that just at some level I kind of had this idea at that point. That was the pivotal moment for me, I said to myself that I was not going to be the victim of life and business. I was going to take ownership, over whatever I took control of and find a way to get over these behavioral patterns and these ways that got me into trouble with other people with job ventures and things that were just going on at the time. As a result of that, I didn’t know how I was going to do it, but I ended up making a commitment that I was going to find a way to. That’s what ended up happening, I ended up finding a process that allowed me to get out of the root cause of my troubles and my issues. There were four limiting beliefs that I didn’t know I had at the time, but then I eventually found out what that was. I had a need for validation and that need for validation was a result of again not having my father present. I was seeking this out in my father and so I would seek out situations in work, in business, with girlfriends and everyday life to fill that need for validation. That led to years of passive aggressive behavior, poor communication, codependency, and that just led to fueling that anger that I experienced each and every day. When I was able to get to the root cause of that I realized that it was my dad I began to release it overtime and then forgive myself, most importantly. I began to incorporate healthier habits, and disciplines that begin to fill in that space the constant need for validation. Because of now building a stronger foundation, habits, and disciplines; that begin to build my confidence and self-esteem. I began to make changes in how I communicate to myself and other people. I made swifter decisions, took calculated risk, follow through, and it dramatically changed my business for the best. It also improved my relationships with myself and others. I began to move away from codependency towards interdependency. Where I began to grow.
Listen to the podcast for the complete story
All right we are back with Christopher Salem and we talked about how his journey started and we talked about how meditation and journaling became a big part of his life. Now tell me about your Master Your Inner Critic book and the seven steps to eradicate the root of the problem?
So, Master Your Inner Critic is a book I wrote about five years ago now. Master Your Inner Critic outlines the process of knowing that our inner critic is that internal voice that speaks to us from limiting beliefs. It can convince us that we’re not worthy, or not enough, and that we are everything that our limiting beliefs define us to be. Which is completely in an illusion and false. So, resolving the root cause is like with anything else. If you have cancer, you take out the tumor. You have to make sure you get the tumor at the root. You want to get all of the cells from that tumor that may still be there. Because otherwise the cancer can come back. It is the same thing with limited beliefs, you got to get to the root cause to eradicate it. Then use a process to sustain it, this is where the 8 pillars of wellness come in. They allow us to find that work life harmony some people sometimes call it balance. But when you think about it as balance, is there really such a thing as balance in life? No. It is more of harmony. It is a seesaw, teetering. That is how the 8 pillars of wellness can help us sustain that inner champion. Now, not the inner critic. We’re now operating from a place of limitless beliefs, from a success foundation, having more clarity, be more decisive, taking action, trusting the process of what we can control, letting go of what we can’t and then looking at how we can find that Harmony through the 8 pillars of wellness. The pillars are social, which is the relationship with yourself and other people. We can look and determine is it a codependent, independent, or interdependence? Then making a shift from codependency, independence, to interdependence. Taking ownership of our role in duty, being responsible or accountable. Then coming together and being an example for others to share at a higher level, emotional well-being, overcoming limiting beliefs, to develop your success foundation, which we talked about. Next, physical wellness which means that we are taking care of our physical bodies in terms of what we allow us to move around. We use that energy to convey ourselves to other people and so on. What are we doing to nurture and take care of ourselves physically through wholesome nutrition and exercise? Spiritual wellness, it’s not just a belief in your higher power. It is a belief in yourself as well, it’s got to be both. Often very good people miss the boat because they have all their faith in their higher power. Which is wonderful but they don’t have any faith in themselves. So, it’s finding that harmony with believing in ourselves as we believe in our higher power. Financial wellness; it’s removing those limited beliefs about money, that it’s not about scarcity it is about abundance. Even if you don’t personally have all this money, that doesn’t mean that you don’t have certain things in your life that are better and that you should be grateful for. It’s learning to shift to an abundance mindset and being grateful for where you are. Just do everything within your control and let the rest go. The rest is to do the things that hold you into position to receive more. It’s learning to give without expectation, from empathy and kindness. Coming from an interdependent way, be resourceful, and an example for others. Not from a place of pleasing, and enabling which is codependent.
There is more to this interview on the podcast.
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“Next time we’ll go over the pillars of wellness …
I want each of you to know I appreciate each and every one of you. I’m grateful for your friendship. You mean a lot to me. I know you have overcome some really tough things to get here. Like I said at the beginning there are a few things you can do to help, YAL If this message has been helpful today, please share it with a friend or family member who may need to hear it. Or sponsor it. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to this blog and leave a rating and review. Also join the Facebook Group or if you need to get yourself aligned to get your goals and dreams, contact me. Let’s get you the amazing life you want! Set up a time to talk with me so we can discuss how you can use these tools and others to get your amazing life!