Do you Need to Borrow a Great Spouse?

cheerful multiethnic family on street
Your Amazing Life
Your Amazing Life
Do you Need to Borrow a Great Spouse?

Welcome to “Your Amazing Life” and thanks for being here. We discuss tools and tricks to create an Amazing Life in this blog. There are a few powerful ways you can support us. It would help if you subscribe to us and leave a rating/ review, in it leave your top takeaways from what we talked about, also interact with the community on the Facebook page. Next, be a hero to your friends and family and share it with them… Lastly, sponsor it. Your support makes a massive difference. Check out the show notes for links to the subjects we discuss and if you have any topics, you would like me to address just put it in the private Facebook group. I want to give a couple shout outs first to Gabriel, a listener who says he loves this podcast and to my Hawaiian tribe. I appreciate them, growing and sharing the podcast with their friends and family. Now, let’s get into Your Amazing Life.

So, this post was on my feed. “I have a husband who helps, but that doesn’t mean I was ‘so lucky to find a man like that.’ Yes, I’m lucky to have him. But him being what a father and husband should be is not the main reason. ⁣⁣When I tell others; I’m going away for a weekend to meet up with friends, he’s cooking dinner tonight, or he took them grocery shopping without me, or he cleaned up and did the laundry, the people I’m talking to look like I’ve told them a ghost story. Then comes the, ‘Oh my god, you’re so lucky! I need to borrow him. I need a man like that.’ 

The thing is We’re a team. I pick up after him, he picks up after me, and we take turns looking after the kids so we both get a break. ⁣⁣Being in a relationship, especially with kids, takes a ton of work, from both sides.⁣⁣ ⁣⁣When he comes home from work, he plays with the kids so I can make dinner. Then I’ll play with the kids while he cleans up the kitchen. I make dinners on the weeknights, and he makes breakfast every weekend morning. ⁣⁣We both have each other’s backs. We both do our share of ‘work’ at home and with the kids. That’s the way it should be. ⁣I’m not lucky to have him because he does what a father should be doing. I’m lucky to have him because of the person he is. And who I am when I’m with him.” Now this is a marvelous post.  And I wanted to break it down and go over it. 

Let’s look at the first paragraph. It talks about being lucky but not because of the actions that he makes as a father or husband. Being a father and husband mean different things to different people, in different places and at different times. But let us look at the big picture and see what we can find. Most will agree that a father is responsible for the welfare of his wife and children. This can be for things like a roof over their heads, clothing, shoes, food and education. That is only a small part of what total welfare is. Fathers and husbands sometimes see themselves as the coach rather than part of the team. This is evident in the division of household labor. But in many households even when wives work outside the house, they are also dining most of the household chores. Why would you make someone you say you care about take care of your responsibilities? Before I was married, I had to feed myself, wash my clothes, clean my area. I didn’t have a maid. Why would some men believe that a marriage license gives them a maid? Can you find any proof outside of personal examples, that is what is expected? When dads take shared responsibility in the roles of the family, everyone in the family benefits. This shared role creates stronger connections to wife and children. A dad’s responsibilities towards children total welfare means making sure children feel safe, confident, and secure as well as housed, clothed, and fed. He can only do this through hands-on leadership of the family. It cannot be done in front of the TV watching sports, or playing video games. It cannot be done by spending 80 hours a week working at the office or hole up at home. If you are wondering how successful you have been as a father, look at how confident your children are. Having an involved father in the home brings positive benefits to children that no one else is likely to bring.

So now let’s move to the second part of the post. Only in shared responsibilities can you have the opportunity to take a moment to catch your breath on the bench. Life, especially with kids, takes a ton of work. Parenting is meant to be a tag team. When one of you is down on the mat, you slap their hand and jump in to save them. This is what builds a strong relationship. This builds trust in one another. If you care about your spouse or child; You have to jump into the game. Families need to be a team. They need to work together. Fathers cannot be the coach setting on the sideline, no they need to be on the field side by side with the rest of the team. They can be a leader on the team. But if they are not on the team the team will not win. Here are some stats. Without a strong father, children are at 2X’s greater risk of obesity, a 4Xs greater risk of poverty, and 7X’s more likely to become pregnant as a teen. If you think one person can’t make a difference then look at the proof of what a father can do. Check out the National Fatherhood Initiative. A father nurturing presence helps children mentally, socially and emotionally. Take responsibility for changing this world! Take the responsibility of being a father to your children.

I want to go over this last sentence one more time. “I’m lucky to have him because of the person he is. And who I am when I’m with him.” This is the type of relationship that I hope you have! This is the kind of relationship I want to help you create. This is the type of relationship that will change this world. It will last. When you feel lucky to be close to the person that they are and the person you are around them, that is what makes you feel more whole and complete than ever before. There is more power in this relationship than in anything else you will find in this world. You will find fulfillment in that statement and finding someone you are lucky to have because of who they are and who you are around them.

If you are tired of suffering, being alone, overreacting, using avoidance tactics, breaking your word, and doing it over and over again; If you want to struggle less and enjoy more. If you want a truly amazing life that is connected and complete, you need the “you have value program.” If you are willing to make some changes, be kind to yourself, fail forward and continue to try, or stop chasing comfort. I would love to help you to create who you are actually capable of becoming.  Contact me.

“Next time we’ll talk about Making it big in tough times! …

I want each of you to know I appreciate each and every one of you. I’m grateful for your friendship. You mean a lot to me. I know you have overcome some really tough things to get here. Like I said at the beginning there are a few things you can do to help, YAL If this message has been helpful today, please share it with a friend or family member who may need to hear it. Or sponsor it. If you haven’t yet, please subscribe to this blog and leave a rating and review. Also join the Facebook Group or if you need to get yourself aligned to get your goals and dreams, contact me. Let’s get you the amazing life you want! Set up a time to talk with me so we can discuss how you can use these tools and others to get your amazing life!

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