So maybe you have heard the saying “Your body is new every seven years, your cells replace themselves.” While this is not completely true as some cells replace themselves within 4 hours and a couple cells never do. The idea behind this has merit. What has changed in your body, your mind, and your life? Because while many things have maybe a few have not.
I’m sure you know people that have not changed, People tend to get caught at certain times of their lives. Do you know a person who peaked in high school? Maybe you keep thinking about the one who got away and how your life would be different with them? For some of our Vets they peaked in the service. Many of my Marine Brothers and Sisters are stuck in the time they served. Many of them want to change the fact that they lived when someone else didn’t. They want to go back. They cannot leave where they were. But for reasons, maybe only they know about, they don’t move on. They struggle to live. I know so many of them that have not been able to move past the horrible situation they went through. Do you know someone that can’t move past something that happened years ago to them? Maybe when they were a youth. If you say “NO” look again. Maybe even try the mirror. Some of us are more stuck than others. But get real with yourself. Find out if there are points in your life when you got stuck. I’ve talked about the one when I was seven or eight years old. But that was not the only one. I can remember another where I was told I could not sing well at 19 yrs old. That one stuck with me. Then there was the time when my oldest boy was born. It was a happy time but one that the weight of the world came to rest on my shoulders. I haven’t put that weight down yet. If you are honest I’m betting you can find places in your life where you got stuck and have stayed the same ever since.
When was the last time you dwelt on the past? Was it five mins ago or 40 years? The time you were dwelling on was it five mins ago or 40 years? Does it matter? When you think about the past does it include the ups and downs of that time or just the ups. One of the men that I look up to is Travis Mills. He is a ground pounder “Army” who lost all four limbs in a bombing in Afghanistan. He said I don’t think my problems outweigh anybody else’s” then he goes on to say “ don’t dwell on the past. I learned that because when I was sitting in my hospital bed closing my eyes and wishing that this did not happen, I realized you’re not going to change the past” Dwelling on the past is hoping against hope and wishing that your past would have been different. Just like Travis couldn’t get his arms and legs back you cannot get back the life that you had. You can’t get it back as you are not the same person in so many ways. If you don’t leave your past in the past, it will destroy your future. Live for what today has to offer, not for what yesterday has taken away. So get out of the past. If you look at it truthfully you probably weren’t without problems when you were there. Life is tough from day 1 until the day after you are gone.
Welcome back today we are talking about living for today and not dwelling on the past. The things you can’t change. We talked about the different things people get stuck in the past over. Some don’t move past high school, others leave the light on for a certain someone. Some get caught in what they did, Like the military, or other profession. Some get stuck because they lived and others didn’t. We get stuck because of things that are said to us by those that we respect. Some of the things I am stuck on happened earlier, others happened nearly 40 years ago. Holding on to the past always creates suffering, even if it was wonderful.
There is no future in living in the past! I’m betting you are fairly normal. You find your mind brings up the past and shows it as a movie with no down side. I’m betting you think about mistakes you made that you wish you could change and things you did right and you wish you could relive. Maybe the time you want to return to things were great and there was nothing bad about the time. Maybe the time was truly magical. Even if that were the case living there will make you miserable. The present is the only time that we actually have. Elon Musk and every other inventor out there has yet to build a working prototype of a time machine. In this life we can go neither forward or back; “Time is the reef upon which all our frail mystic ships are wrecked.” Noel Coward. Now is the only thing we have and if we spend it in the past we feel regret and depression.
How do you get to the point of letting go of the past? How do you live in the present?
What ways will get you out of the past?
First off be honest, with yourself and about yourself. What do you have? Are you thinking of the past or are you living in it? If you are living there, change your story. It is what creates who you are. But if you are honest with yourself even if it was the best of times, Even if it was an easier time, you would not be who you are. Be honest about who you are and what you have accomplished. Be honest about the cost of not growing or changing? What are the costs of not moving forward now? Be honest about whether or not this is in your control. If you had not moved past that, If you had not gone on. You would not have had the relationships you have. Others lives would be different and missing parts if you weren’t here and moved forward. What do you gain by reliving and thinking about these times? Does it get you the happiness you felt at that time?
Second is acknowledge that there are things out of your control. Maybe it wasn’t you who moved you away from that “perfect time.” It might have been that the thing that took your perfect time was a situation. Learn from the experience. Become better from those things you can control. Life happens, we cannot control it all. Those few things that we can’t control why obsess over them and wait for them to return as they are things we can’t control. Let go of the things that you cannot control and be honest about the things you can. These two things will help you to let go of the past. You will find you can be happy if you are in the present!
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