What To Do If You Are Ugly

This thought might have crossed your mind or maybe it dominates it. This thought has little to do with reality. Although there is both a subjective part and an objective part to beauty. People like you and I struggle with this as well as some supermodels have to endure this thought.  Many of the pictures that you see are touched up and no longer “real.” So the level that you compare yourself to is nonexistent. You might have even heard from others that you are ugly but now it dominates your mind..  

This brilliant poem was written by Abdullah Shoaib

I’m very ugly

So don’t try to convince me that

I am a very beautiful person

Because at the end of the day

I hate myself in every single way

And I’m not going to lie to myself by saying

There is beauty inside of me that matters

So rest assured I will remind myself

That I am a worthless, terrible person

And nothing you say will make me believe

I still deserve love

Because no matter what

I am not good enough to be loved

And I am in no position to believe that

Beauty does exist within me

Because whenever I look in the mirror I always think

Am I as ugly as people say?

There are parts of beauty that can be controlled more than others. Your gene’s for example are something that are difficult to control. That doesn’t mean they can’t be changed we can see that by looking around Hollywood. But that is on the lower level of beauty. And there are beautiful people out there that have flaws like dimples, chipped teeth, freckles, a large nose, or pick any other body part. If you can have plastic surgeons fix it there are people out there who are unhappy with the way thiers looks.  Let’s look at some women that were told they were ugly: Meryl Streep, Sarah Jessica Parker, Lea Michele, Chrissy Teigen,Reese Witherspoon, and Mindy Kaling to name a few. These women were told to fix all kinds of things “tighten up your teeth, dye your hair, lose weight, gain weight, get a tan,” Maybe you have heard or told yourselves things like this. I know that it is so easy to believe the bad stuff that we hear. It doesn’t matter who is saying it. If it is genetics you have a couple options you can choose to accept it or change it. That is the control you have over that part of your beauty. 

Actress Heidi Montag  underwent a slew of Plastic surgeries. She said “I’ve always been very insecure about my body,” she told Us Weekly in 2007 (via JustJared). “I have my dad’s nose, which is huge. It took up so much of my face, when I looked down, I could see my nose. I couldn’t get away from it!” So if you have body issues you are not alone. If you want to change things. There is a host of people out there that are with you.

Today we are talking about what to do if you’re ugly. And in the first half we spoke about Things you may not be able to control but you can change if you have the change (money) to put down on plastic surgery. We talked about women who were told they are ugly or not acceptable looking. We talked about Heidi Montag who spoke out about her body insecurities. Let’s look at that poem we read only this time we will read it backwards.

Am I as ugly as people say?

Because whenever I look in the mirror I always think

Beauty does exist within me

And I am in no position to believe that

I am not good enough to be loved

Because no matter what

I still deserve love

And nothing you say will make me believe

That I am a worthless, terrible person

So rest assured I will remind myself

There is beauty inside of me that matters

And I’m not going to lie to myself by saying

I hate myself in every single way

Because at the end of the day

I am a very beautiful person

So don’t try to convince me that

I’m very ugly

We looked at genetics but let’s look more than skin deep. What other factors play into beauty? Because other than biology, things like culture, psychology, social aspects, and smiling (like we talked about in episode 171) make us more attractive and change how our beauty is perceived. So our story and what we think about ourselves play into our appearance. Maybe, you put it out on facebook or tell others that you are ugly. People probably tell you no but you don’t hear them, you don’t believe. Because it is not the things we see, that we believe but it is the things we believe that we will see. So you can have people telling you how pretty you are but that will not change how you feel about yourself.  Why is it that you are focused on your looks? What happiness has your looks ever brought you? Thinking about your looks and how parts of them are not up to your expectation will only taint your belief and happiness with yourselves. Body satisfaction and satisfaction with life are intertwined. So decide that you are attractive. Put that gorgeous smile on your face! Accept who you are and have gratitude for your body. Realize that your beauty is more than skin deep.

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