So why do we all hear a similar inner bully? Why do so many of us question our abilities and self worth? Why are the negative things that creep into our minds so easy to believe? So number one on the list to overcome these thoughts of being a fraud is to breathe. When this starts your head can start spinning and you get filled with emotion. That is when it is important to focus on your breath, slow it down. This will cause shifts in your perspective and help to spark a healthier self narrative. As you go through this narrative be sure to fact check each thought. Fact check the thoughts that you are below average. Do not blindly accept any thought. Not every thought we have is true. Our thoughts are only that they are thoughts. Do not believe that inner bully.
Number 2 is to create an evidence sheet. This is a piece of paper or a digital notebook where you list all the evidence that counteracts your negative view of yourself. You do not have to agree at the time with the evidence. It can be a struggle to agree on the information because of the strength of that inner bully. Be curious and give your curiosity more weight than your criticism. Use this evidence sheet to just paint a little doubt in your mind about you being a fraud, then take that and build on it.
Number 3 on the list is to develop relationships that you can turn to for support. People that will understand and help you work through it. Peers that will call you on your crap. Have a mentor to lead you through. Success comes from the people you surround yourself with. If you have mentors and people who think about overcoming a problem they will upgrade your thinking and help you to raise your thought process and help you overcome problems. Asking for help this is actually a sign of strength. It takes little strength to suffer alone. But asking for help opens up all kinds of opportunities and the person who helps you will feel closer and more affection for you. Use your peers with whom you share resources, and cross check and cross reference, and do gut checks with. Relationships are very important to overcoming imposter syndrome.
Number 4: Expectation management is very important. Temper your expectation of yourself and do not compare yourself to others. Nobody wins when you compare yourself with others. Comparing myself to others is just a way of putting unrealistic expectations on myself. Most often I compare their strengths to my weakness. I never look at them as a whole person with strengths and weaknesses. I see only the things they have going for them. Then I look at myself and just the weaknesses I have not my strengths. I also hold myself to an impossible standard of perfection. It doesn’t matter if it is sustainable or achievable. If I can’t do it perfectly, why do it at all, right! This has not been a successful path for me. I have had to learn to give it my all and then move on.
Number 5: The final thing is to focus on your passion and vision. I put these podcasts out because I have a picture in my mind of you out there listening to this and taking it in making changes in your life and developing an amazing life. That is the end story. It is about you and what you gain from this. I am passionate about moving you towards this life.
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