So what does owning our story look like. Well today for me it was changing the belief that the tough times had a message for me to change what I was doing. It was changing the pattern of giving up. Owning my story was accepting this is where I am, this is what I am experiencing and I need to move through it. It is different than taking it as a sign and moving on to the next thing. It is realizing I have been through tough times before and I will again. I just need to put my head down and keep marching. It means accepting and loving myself. Loving the chance to grow. Looking at the experiences as just experiences. Not assigning meaning or value to the experience. It is not that either is good or bad. Having to do things 2 or three times has taught me things. Having to move past the thought that the experience I had might be a message is something that I learned from. I now reacted to that experience different than I had in the past. This is all part of owning the story.
Our minds create and assign meaning to emotions making them either positive or negative. Many people want to just experience just the positive emotions, Parents often try to shield their children from negative emotions. But life’s biggest paradox is the more we try to escape or run from suffering the more we suffer. People want to feel happy, loved, and all the other good feelings and not have to deal with the “negative.” But research shows that experiencing and accepting things like anger and sadness is vital to our mental health.
So how do we rewrite the story. So if we look at things that go wrong as an ability to show what we are made of it changes everything. You know when I look back on my life and I look at the toughest times when things were as dark as they had ever been. Times that I didn’t think I could live through. The first thing that I realize is I did live through them. The story that I told myself that I was unable to live through them was false. The other thing that I realize is that those are the times that were the riches and most powerful times in my life. My life would not have been happier had I not had any suffering. It would not be happier because there would have been little growth. Growth has caused me to be happy.
Our existence feeds from contrast. So integrate your feelings. We could not know joy without sorrow, How would you know peace without knowing anger, Without fear you could not be courageous. Do not look like you are a patient needing a cure. Suffering is not an anomaly it is part of being human. Social media has added gas to the fire. The pictures we see are of people that look perfect all the time and they look happy in every picture. We then compare ourselves to that and find that we don’t measure up. But the facts are you are judging a representation of a person not the whole person. Those pictures are single points in their lives. It is a time when they put on their best face.
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