Do You have a Painful Commitment to Work?


So I saw this post from @KatyLeeson the other day and thought this was worth talking about.

You can be committed to work and take time off.

You can be a leader and delegate task.

You can be consistent and have an occasional “bad day.”

You can be a problem solver AND ask for help.

You can be flexible AND prioritized family.

Many of us find it hard to delegate. The reason we give is the number of hours that we would spend in training them to do the job is more than it would take us to do it. That can be true in the short run. If we are delegating our emails to an assistant or training our kid to clean the bathroom. We can spend more than twice the time for the first couple times. But the fact remains that once they are trained it would reduce our time spent over the year. This is true as long as you have a good training procedure and actually let go of it after the other person is trained. Many times we do not delegate not because of the time it would take to train but because of our not wanting to let go of the control. If you are honest with yourself it is probably more about control than time.

I consider myself a problem solver. I also consider myself a service person. It has taken me years to be able to accept service and not just give it. Giving service is the easy thing to do. It helps me to feel good and feeds my ego. Yet accepting help is different, to accept help we need to look at ourselves and feel worthy of the help. So the other day we were in a restaurant and a nice young woman around 20 came up to my dad as she had seen his Marine Corps Hat. She wanted to thank him for his service. She was very kind.. This sweet gal was so nice and we talked to her for a couple of mins. She then asked if she could buy us a couple of cookies. Now neither I nor my Dad needed any cookies and we could have said no thank you. But she wanted to serve us, instead of making it about us. And what we did or  did not do, whether or not we deserved it, we made it totally about her and let her serve us in the way she wanted. Whether or not we deserved or needed it. We allowed her to swerve us, and thanked her for her kindness. Many people say no thanks, but often that is because it is about them. I have a cousin that was in the army and he discounts his service to our country, he doesn’t consider himself a Veteran. I mean if I were to compare my service to the service of others I could say that mine was less or different. That is something that the Ego would do. It doesn’t serve anyone to make ourselves smaller. I attempt not to do that.

It can be difficult to take time off, delegate, be consistent, ask for help and be flexible. But learning those things will make your life amazing. I found out my mom is moving in two weeks so today I committed to flying down to help her move and I had to get a flight, rental car and condo to stay. I will be taking time off. But this is something that will deepen the relationship This will give me some time with my mom and I am not sure how much of that time is left. Because of Covid, I have not seen her for a year. So this will be a wonderful experience. I had to be flexible and take time off as it is only two weeks out. But I am committed to making my life amazing and work only plays a portion of that. So I will keep life in balance.

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