The Epidemic and Tragedy of Failure


Failure seems to be something that people are thinking about right now. If you are like me you failed millions of times, it is a part of life. As a society, we have now labeled failure and poisoned it true experience, we have made it menacing, something that is bad, or unwanted. This might have started in school. An F or a failing grade was considered unacceptable. Now at school an F probably meant that you were not putting in any effort. If one puts in little or no effort you get nothing back. We should put effort into each and everything we do. How do you deal with failure in your life today? Do you run from the chance of failing? Do you run over everything trying not to fail just with momentum? How would anyone ever learn to walk without falling? Do you see failure as something to avoid? Is it okay for others to fail but not yourself?

Let’s look at how infants and young children deal with failure. So when a kid is learning to walk is falling okay? How many kids learn to walk without falling. Does falling equal failure? Ever known a kid to mispronounce words as they learn to speak? Is that a failure? When is it that we moved from trial and error to trial without error? How does that work for you in your life? In the lives of many it seems to start around age 5 or 6. This is probably due to the expectations of the parents and family members and then reinforced as we move into school. But how does it serve us to fight failure?

If we require each word to be perfect how will we learn how to speak? If we can’t fall will we learn to walk? If we want to move forward we must allow ourselves the chance to fall or fail. I am a perfect example of this, I am a recovering perfectionist. I hold myself and those around me to a very high level of production and creation. Many times I have shot for a level that is not realistic and I have done it for most of my life. It is easy to have low self confidence when you try to live to such a level and continually not meet it. I bet some of you know what I’m talking about. There are times when I did not want to act because I knew I could not produce at the level I will hold myself to. So I refused to step so that I did not fall. But I have found the statement to be true. “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”

Let’s talk about how to get past them for you.

Believe that you are not alone.

Be mindful of your self talk and question it.

Focus on the epic process. Make the shots without concern for the outcome

Use the mind blowing magic of Not Yet. “The ball did not yet go in”

Believe you can change

Praise the noble efforts of others

You can move past the pain, anxiety and fear. True failure is only in those that give upland not try. If you put in the practice and take the shots, then you will dominate the game. Setup a time to find some shot exercises that will help you.

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