So a school district sent out some forms to parents about their “wimpy” students by mistake. The parents were justifiably outraged. This opened up a dialogue about the kids that are dealing with bullies. They spoke about how it is wrong to jump on the wagon and continue the harassment of these people that are suffering.
Now first off bullying is wrong and it is a problem. We need to pay attention and stop those that participate in bullying. But we as a society also need to change how we are dealing with it. We often give all of the responsibility, the power to change to the bully. This doesn’t create a change for the one being bullied. I have experienced bullying and so have my children. When my children were struggling with it we attacked it from two fronts. First we had a discussion between the kids with a responsible, and an adult that could point out what the experiences were and how they could have reacted differently. Second we worked to teach our kids that they didn’t have to feel weak or less than the bullies. When I got involved it was not to blame teachers, or schools. It was to empower my sons to teach them to be able to handle this for themselves.
Many times as adults we are bullied in ways that differ from when we were a kid. But how we choose to retaliate is very important and it is no different that when we were kids. Often the line between being teased and bullied is a fine one. There are times when people are unaware that they have crossed it. At this time we can choose how we feel. We can choose courage and strength in ourselves, We can choose not to believe the hurtful things that are said. There have been many times in the past when I have played the role of a victim when I felt I was mistreated and that caused strong negative feelings within me. This started a loop that was played over and over with increasing frequency in my life. It caused a great deal of pain in my life.
I was able to stop it only by taking extraordinary action and relabeling and changing the beliefs. I stopped feeling like a victim to the things that happened around me. That the things in life truly happen around and not to you. Unleashing this belief is a truly triumphant life changing moment. As my thoughts empowered me the things that happened around me did not decrease it, no in this life things will happen and a great deal of them will be difficult to deal with. But I do not make them more difficult than they are by playing victim to them like I once did.
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