What is the difference you might ask. What are the deadly expectations you have of your life? Do you expect better relationships? A better job, more money?
Are you like me, where if your expectations are not met do you get frustrated, angry or hurt? It is devastating when your presuppositions are not what you want them to be? I have had cussing bouts when my expectations and my view of my life didn’t match. It can really be difficult to deal with, right? The emotions can be horrifically overwhelming if my expectations and my perceived situation are not a match. This can happen when you have unmet expectations. What is an expectation and where does it come from? It comes from a thought. An Expectation is an “assumption” as to what should happen, or how you should feel. I’m sure you’ve heard the proverb regarding assumptions, about how the act of making them makes an “ass” out of “u” and “me.” Everything in our lives starts out as a thought and expectations or assumptions are no different. When we then hold those thoughts and experience them over and over they then can be cemented into beliefs. So every expectation that you have started out as a thought and some of them have developed into beliefs from thinking them over and over again.
What happens when you have unmet expectations? I sometimes expect that the plan that I have is the way my life should work out. That my computer should work when and how I want it to. That my income should be more or that my business should be in a different place than it is at the time. These expectations create unhappiness and discontent in my life. When I come from a place of acceptance the things that happen in my life are the same as when I had the expectations. The change is not in what happens to me but in my thoughts and feelings about what is happening. When I live with expectations my life never lives up to those expectations I have and I am often disappointed or unhappy.
I hope you also get to the point where you are excited by the things that create growth in your life. I expect growth. I expect that I will fall, that I will make mistakes. These create growth, so I am looking forward to those times when I get to conquer those things.
Those unreasonable expectations are what causes much of the discontent and unhappiness in the lives of many of the people I work with. Some people will hold on to those expectations with all their might. The petty payoffs for holding on to them outweigh the large sums that they would receive if they let them go.
How do you let these go? Let’s talk personally about designing your amazing life and the tools that will help you get there. You are a singularity, you have something to offer this world no one else can. Find out what that is and how to bring it into being!
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