Recently I helped a lady who was struggling with her relationship. She has been married for just over a year. She came to me for help with dealing with her husband’s ADHD. Her belief was if we fixed what he was or wasn’t doing then she would be happy. Have you ever thought if someone in your life would change her husband’s behavior she would be happier? I mean that type of thought is pretty common right even if dangerous. I admit I have, I thought I would feel better if I could change others. Especially When my boys were teens, It was less painful to believe it was their problem not mine. That seems pretty common if you look around, Many are willing to victimize themselves and fall into the trap of feeling that others are the reason they do not feel the way they want to. As we talked about what she wanted and what the underlying issue was, she found that it was not so much about her husband nor what he did or didn’t do.
The scary reason she had these feelings had to do more with how she looked at herself and whether or not she appreciated what she had to offer. Many times in a new relationship we tend to feel that we are special and fulfilled during the introductory part of a relationship; this is due to the things that happen in new relationships. It is a new feeling and because the person is new and they are paying extra attention and on their best behavior so we feel loved and fulfilled. Then as the relationship grows and matures we tend to go back to questioning ourselves and our worth. At the same time we now poison the belief of our spouse in us. This is a progression and is part of many relationships, if we are not whole ourselves. Some people at this point decide to move on, to go to another relationship that will be in the introductory segment again. They bumble around trying to feel “loved” like when the relationship was new. It is less of a feeling of love and more of a feeling of infatuation. They don’t understand that the feeling of love that they are looking for is a love for themselves.
Once you learn to love and accept yourselves the love of another person will be life-changing. That way you will have the love of yourself last no matter what the other person does. That will be the love that lasts. Then you will feel love and happiness and will have a deeper, more miraculous and more complete relationship then you ever imagined. All of this starts with catching a vision of your magnificence and developing a love for yourself. Loving yourself is critical to your happiness. A spectacular relationship with yourself is what sets the foundation.
Self Love means having a fierce positive regard for our own wellbeing and happiness. Seeing and appreciating the uniqueness of you. When we adopt an attitude of self-love, we create a higher level of self-esteem. Then we’re less critical and harsh with ourselves when we make mistakes, and we’re able to celebrate our positive qualities AND accept our negative ones.
Please subscribe to this podcast and leave a rating and review, to help others find this podcast. Also join the Facebook group. Here is the spot to click and set up a time so we can discuss how you can use these tools and others to get your amazing life!
This episode is sponsored by
· Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/ken-gerber/message
Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/ken-gerber/support